When the pieces ACTUALLY fit together.

Have you ever worked on a puzzle? You sit down, look at all those little pieces and have that little moment of doubt like, "How in the world am I going to make all 1,000 of these little tiny pieces fit into one picture?"

You go to start the puzzle.

In my personal experience, most people start with the edges. They've got a concrete place. A reference point. So you begin by filling in the basic outline. That's the easy part. And then when it comes time to fill in the middle, it gets harder.

You turn the puzzle piece every which way and it doesn't fit. You see a piece that seems like it's supposed to fit. It looks perfect. The shape is the same. The cuts look right. But when you go to place the piece, it's a little bit off. Or it's a lot bit off. And your heart sinks a little bit. It's even worse when you're focused in on a specific missing piece. It seems like you're never going to find the match.

Personally, puzzles drive me bonkers. They take so much time, so much focus, and so much dedication. I make it through the egde of the puzzle and then get bored, or frustrated, or distracted with the chaos of the inside. I think one of the reasons I don't like puzzles is because I'm a worrier.

I'm a worrier. A stress-er. A 'check the plan three times and then check once more before I execute the plan'-er. It's how I was wired and despite my efforts to let things go without a plan, I always develop one by go-time. So if you're anything like me, aka a Control Freak, you like having all of your ducks in a row. When those little quackers wander, or hide in the duck pond, or jump off a cliff, it drives you batty. Like legitimately causing anxiety. Your pieces aren't fitting and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it.

Do you get to this place in your life where you have the outline set, but the middle gets to you? I do. Often. I get annoyed that I'm finding all the wrong pieces; the ones that aren't fitting. Whether it's the people to spend my time with, the career, the guy to date, the car issues, the financial burdens. There are a LOT of moving pieces in life. Way more than the thousand pieces in a puzzle. Sometimes it seems like all of the pieces will never comes together.

But then when you are about to flip the puzzle table (because everyone devotes the table for a couple days, right?), you find one piece that clicks into place. Someone offers you a place to live. And then another. A friend helps replace some car parts. And then you get a job offer. And people are offering to help you move. And click... and click... and click...

Next thing you know, you have a blob of pieces floating around inside the outline of your puzzle.

When the pieces start falling together, you realize how much you can endure. The life puzzle teaches patience. It teaches you to ask for help. To work together. To stay determined. To look for the next piece. To turn the pieces a couple different ways. And to not give up.

Trust that the pieces will fit together because when they actually start fitting, you get the most beautiful picture.

Learning to say No.

No. Two letters. One word. A whole sentence. An infinite amount of power.

You know that part of the movie in "27 Dresses" where Katherine Heigl has to practice saying "No" to James Marsden?

If the answer is no (tee hee)...

You're welcome.

Yeah, that's me. The girl who's not very good at saying no. Let's not dive into how many ways I resemble Katherine Heigl from this movie (amount of weddings I've been in, obsessed with my calendar, slightly a control freak... but we won't go into that), but let's focus on that one similarity.

If you're like me, you enjoy making people happy. And if you're also like me, you also like to spread your time between all of your passions, your friends, and your hobbies. And your job. That's important too. Between keeping up with social graces, and working full time, I find myself leaving the apartment at 7:00am and getting home at 8:30pm or later.

Let's get a couple of things straight right off the bat... I truly enjoy the things that fill my day. I love my job. I love going to the gym and working out, whether it's lifting, running or Zumba. On my weekends, I LOVE going out dancing, or having girl's night at the Comedy Club. My schedule is filled with amazing experiences and people. Also, I am not the type of girl who can hang out with the same person every single day. I will want to kill that person, and not because of anything he/she is doing, but because I need a variety of people to interact with, as well as solitude. I'm incredibly independent, so I like having the option to move from friend group to friend group. This character trait of mine is not stated to sound offensive, but solely for the fact that I love all of the people in my life and want to divvy up my time between multiple people that are very near and dear to my heart.

While the days are packed with wonderful things, I find that I cannot keep up. It's funny because I keep reading these articles about how the average person needs 8-10 hours of sleep, and I keep seeing these fabulous Thought Catalog articles saying that When you graduate college/When you hit your mid twenties/When you get your shit together, you start ACTUALLY getting the full recommended amount of sleep.

HA!

I graduated college, I'm about to hit my mid-twenties, I'm living the healthiest lifestyle I've EVER led....

And I get about 5-6 hours of sleep every night.

Why is that, you may ask? Because I cannot say "No."

It's an interesting problem to have. I enjoy all of the things that I do (for the most part), but when I find myself being consistently booked out two to three weeks in advanced, I struggle to keep up with everyday life. I can say with absolute certainty that I haven't been fully caught up with laundry since the beginning of January. IT'S APRIL PEOPLE! I'm a "Live Life Load-to-Load" kind of girl.

My issue with saying "No" is that I truly WANT to be doing all of these things. I love my friends. I love staying busy. I love having fun new experiences. However, I don't love being constantly exhausted. I think my issue is that I'm compensating. I'm compensating for the time I lost when I first moved to Portland. I was so lonely and the only people I wanted to be with were not within hang-out distance. My friends and boyfriend lived in other towns, so the result was an over-worked, under-socialized Sarah. Now that I have acclimated my self and my social life to the Portland Metro area, I have been trying to make up for lost time.

So, how to you draw the line of doing everything you want, while still maintaining self-care and balance? How do I fix this? I would LOVE to have James Marsden help me practice saying "No," (I mean, he is super delicious and I'm pretty sure we'd fall in love... just saying...) but that might not be the most realistic plan.

Here's what I'm going to do. I plan on setting "Alone Time" at least once a week. This alone time can be catching up on Netflix, doing my laundry, getting a pedicure all by myself, sitting and reading... or even sitting and doing nothing. I will set this time on my calendar. My "No Fly Zone." And for at least three hours. Three hours of laying low is the least I can do in terms of self care.

I also want to incorporate one of my No End in Sight "New Year's Demands". I want to plan date nights for myself. Date nights that can be done alone. It could be going for a walk in the park, or going to a movie, or taking myself out for dinner. Every other week. And yes that means that I can skip the gym occasionally to make this happen. (OH THE HORROR!!)

And lastly, I'm going to go down to the Library. I'm going to find a book. And Damnit, I'm gonna read it.

Saying "No" isn't meant to be an insult. Sometimes, by saying no, I am doing us both a favor. No one wants a run-down, lame, exhausted Sarah, and by letting myself draw some composure, it will make our next time together more fun. Saying "No" is going to be a positive, even if some people's feelings get hurt. I'm going to throw out this disclaimer: I struggled writing this post because of three reasons. I didn't want to come off like I'm complaining (this IS No End In Sight, the blog about how to stay positive). I didn't want to sound pretentious, like "Look at all of this fun stuff I'm doing." And I also didn't want it to sound like I am sick of anyone or anything in particular.

I wanted it to be about how I can find balance. And balancing it will be.

I guess I can say I'm a Runner now.

I've never liked running...

My legs are short and I'm slow. That's just how I'm built at 5' 1". I don't enjoy being out of breath and sweating is gross. (I really hate sweat, even though I work out a lot. It's so gross and stinky.) My dad, who got it from my grandpa, always says, "We're Buell's. We may be short... but we're slow!" Dad, that is NOT a good thing. And then of course they would both chuckle with how plain and ordinary our gene pool is when it comes to height and speed. That saying makes me roll my eyes WAY too far back.

I've honestly tried liking running. I've gone through multiple phases in my life where I tell myself, "This is the time... you're going to do it and you're going to like it dammit!" People always say that there is this thing called a runner's high. I had never found it. It was more like runners "die" to me. I was constantly exhausted. (And don't even get me started on how hungry I always was after running. I still wonder how runners are so dang skinny when they eat so freaking much.)

But in January, my friend Anna texted me and asked if I would want to do an 8 kilometer run with her in March. I said sure before looking up how many miles an 8k was.... IT'S FIVE MILES?! I can barely even run 2 miles!! How in the hell am I going to run 5 miles?! I started panicking. I figured the only way to keep myself accountable was to buy that darn race entry. $45 later, I was hyperventilating. Anna and I determined that if we ran four out of the five miles, we'd call it a success, so that night we drew up our race training schedules while watching the Golden Globes and started running next day.

Throughout the running, the sweating and the exhaustive breathing, I learned a heck of a lot.


Adrenaline can be your best friend.
Seriously, it's how mothers pull cars off of their babies and how Edward saves Bella in Twilight... oh wait, just kidding, that was just his cover story. But seriously, on the day of the race, I was practically giddy. No I wasn't doing the half-marathon, I was only doing five miles but those were the five miles that would become my PR of distance at this point in my life. I couldn't stop moving. Even when my knees were hurting. Even when I started feeling those blisters forming around mile 2.5 (and let me tell you, that was UNCOMFORTABLE!). I couldn't stop, because the adrenaline was helping push me to the end of that five miles.

Sometimes you need someone to challenge you.
On the days where I didn't want to run, I knew that my running partner had invited me to do this with her. She might not "need" me to run with her, but she was training. She was putting the effort in. She was in this too. I had that accountability to hold on to, even if we weren't running together every day.

You will hit setbacks.
In my case, it was getting rear-ended on my way to work. In the middle of my training schedule, I was told that I wasn't allowed to workout for 2 weeks, and then for 2 weeks after that I was limited to low impact workouts. I started panicking again. "I've only gotten to three and a half miles!! I'm going to lose all of my hard work!" (In case you hadn't figured out, I'm good at panicking...)

But in the end it's up to you.
You can choose to give up, or you can choose to keep moving. I kept walking. That was all I was allowed to do according to my doctor, so I walked. You find ways to keep moving towards your goal, even if it's slowly walking at an incline on a treadmill. You have the power to see a situation in a positive light.

You have people cheering you on. (Even strangers!)
My favorite sign of the whole day was one that said "GO STRANGER, GO!" That was one of the profound moments in the run. People wanted to see you succeed. Even if they don't know you. And sometimes you see people you do know, and they cheer you on, or you cheer them on! The point is that even though there will be haters and jerks, people love seeing success.

You don't have to have the coolest gear, but having the RIGHT gear is important.
Cuz if your stuff looks cool but gives you massive blisters, it sucks. Period.

I underestimate myself.
This is something that I learn time and time again, yet I never quite expect how it will slap me in the face. It's funny because over the last couple years, I have surprised myself so many times through resilience, strength and perseverance. I somehow made it through college with my support system living 2500 miles away. I have managed to keep almost 20 pounds off for a year. I am working toward becoming a Zumba instructor. And yesterday, for the first time, I ran five miles.... and couldn't wipe the smile off my face for the rest of the day.



Anna and I ran the whole five miles, accompanied by her dad and 8,000 other 8k runners (the irony of 8,000 runners running 8,000 meters is not lost on me...). We did it. We didn't even walk the mile that we had originally planned on walking. And guess what's the craziest part? I'm ready to find another race!

I might have run the race slowly, but I ran 5 miles, so I guess you could say I'm a Runner now. And believe it or not, I think I might continue to be a Runner.

The Whole30: Heaven and Hell

If you follow any of my social media platforms, you'll know that I did this crazy thing called the Whole30. I've posted food photos like the ultimate Instagram-Obsessed-White-Girl that I am. I've found recipes and shared them as if it was going out of style. It has been quite the incredible journey. But man was it HARD; a very, very hard incredible journey. There have been ups and downs, cravings, and weird dreams about food. Thankfully though, this Whole30 has taught me SOOO much about my food and my health, but mostly about myself.

So here's how this post is going to look... beware it's a long one. I'm going to tell you what the heck this weirdo dietary plan is, I'm going to tell you about my Whole30 Heavens and Hells, and I will tell you my overall opinion of this insanity.

Here we go...
Many of my friends have asked me a standard progression of questions in regards to the Whole30:

1) What IS the Whole30?

The Whole30 is a RESET button for your body. A button that takes 30 days to push. The program helps with balancing out your whole body by cutting out "all the psychologically unhealthy, hormone-unbalancing, gut-disrupting, inflammatory food groups for a full 30 days. Let your body heal and recover from whatever effects those foods may be causing."  (See more at: http://whole30.com/whole30-program-rules/#sthash.ujsfAjfO.dpuf) The program also helps diminish cravings, helps break mental food addictions, and also helps clear up some pre-existing issues that are related to diet.

SO... What do you cut out?!

• Do not consume added sugar of any kind, real or artificial. No maple syrup, honey, agave nectar, coconut sugar, Splenda, Equal, Nutrasweet, xylitol, stevia, etc. Read your labels, because companies sneak sugar into products in ways you might not recognize.
• Do not consume alcohol in any form, not even for cooking. (And it should go without saying, but no tobacco products of any sort, either.)
• Do not eat grains. This includes (but is not limited to) wheat, rye, barley, oats, corn, rice, millet, bulgur, sorghum, amaranth, buckwheat, sprouted grains and all of those gluten-free pseudo-grains like quinoa. This also includes all the ways we add wheat, corn and rice into our foods in the form of bran, germ, starch and so on. Again, read your labels.
• Do not eat legumes. This includes beans of all kinds (black, red, pinto, navy, white, kidney, lima, fava, etc.), peas, chickpeas, lentils, and peanuts. No peanut butter, either. This also includes all forms of soy – soy sauce, miso, tofu, tempeh, edamame, and all the ways we sneak soy into foods (like lecithin).
• Do not eat dairy. This includes cow, goat or sheep’s milk products such as cream, cheese (hard or soft), kefir, yogurt (even Greek), and sour cream… with the exception of clarified butter or ghee. (See below for details.)
• Do not consume carrageenan, MSG or sulfites. If these ingredients appear in any form on the label of your processed food or beverage, it’s out for the Whole30.
• Do not try to re-create baked goods, junk foods, or treats* with “approved” ingredients. Continuing to eat your old, unhealthy foods made with Whole30 ingredients is totally missing the point, and will tank your results faster than you can say “Paleo Pop-Tarts.” Remember, these are the same foods that got you into health-trouble in the first place—and a pancake is still a pancake, regardless of the ingredients. (See more at: http://whole30.com/whole30-program-rules/#sthash.ujsfAjfO.dpuf)

2) Well, what the heck CAN you eat?!

Great question. And at times, when I peered into my fridge, seeing all of my roommate's non-compliant food, I wondered the exact same thing. Basically, it comes down to meats, veggies, eggs, fruit and healthy fats, such as nuts, fruits, oils and seeds. It sounds restrictive. It is restrictive. But it's also amazing to see the foods that you can come up with given those strict guidelines.


3) Why the heck are you doing this?!/You don't need to lose weight/You already work out a lot.

I hesitate to call it a diet, because I feel like the word diet is associated with weight loss. THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF THIS PROGRAM. Typically, a person will lose a little bit of weight while on this program because you are pretty much flushing the system of all the garbage your body has become accustomed to. I did not start this challenge to lose weight. I started this program because I DO workout 5-6 times a week. I started it because I wanted my healthy eating regimen to be a reflection of my newfound healthy gym life. It's pointless to work out like I do and then stuff my body with junk. (And guess what?! You can kind of see my abs now!)


So how was it? Honestly, it was Heaven... and it was Hell.

Because I'm sticking with the No End In Sight positivity philosophy, we'll start with the Hells and end with the Heavens.

WholeHells:
-Meal prep- I am not a good time keeper so my procrastination usually left me throwing together unplanned ingredients into something I could stomach at work the next day. My usual version of meal prep consisted of making extras at dinner so that I had enough to pack for lunch the next day. Sometimes I would forget (read: fairly frequently), so thankfully the KILLER staff of our café at work would hook me up with a great salad or an omelet if I forgot breakfast.

-Working at Freaking Dave's Killer Bread- I work at a bakery. Not only do I work at a bakery, but we are releasing new products. Not only do I work at a bakery where we are releasing new product, but practically everyone here is a baking superstar so there are ALWAYS treats. Let me tell you, over the last 30 days, I turned down carrot cake for the first time in my life. And then for the second time in my life. And then for the third time in my life. Yes... you read that right. There were three separate instances where carrot cake was served and I said no to it each time. ALL IN ONE WEEK. THAT was hard.

-Digestive stuff...- Not gonna elaborate too much on this one but that was something I was not really expecting.

-The "Kill All Things" phase-  This is the term for days 4-6 of the program, where your body is going through full-fledged, real-life withdrawals. I kid you not, our bodies are addicted to sugar and when you cannot have any additional sugar, you'll get headaches and you'll get angered easily. This wasn't fun. Those headaches were like a caffeine headache on crack. No bueno.

WholeHeavens:
-BOMB-ASS FOOD- Yeah, sorry about the language but seriously guys and gals, I ate some darn good food. Amazing spinach omelets. An apple/banana/strawberry skillet (think apple pie filling without the goo). Avocado "pesto" spaghetti squash with steak and potatoes. Are you hungry yet, cuz I definitely could keep going...

-Bye-Bye Eczema!- Yep, it's gone. Need I say more?

-Poof away the Pimples- *Disclaimer* I'm also using doTerra oils!* But the elimination of all these foods did contribute to my face clearing up.

-ENERGY!!- You all know how much I love my coffee. And anything with caffeine really. BWh30 (Before Whole30), I would usually drink a cup of coffee in the morning and then get another coffee or an energy drink before the gym or just after work in general. I haven't really felt the need to do that while on the Wh30. I have had some sleeping issues but I don't think they're related, so when I did get tired, I'd have a cup of black tea in place of coffee or a Red Bull.

-You can see my muscles!- I truly believe that my body has started burning the stored fats since it hasn't had the short-burst sugars to run off of. I feel like my cellulite has gone down (yes I have cellulite, most people do, get over it ya' diva!) and I think that my muscles look more defined! I'll be selling tickets to the gun show in the near future... (Jk... kind of... if you want to give me money for me to flex my arm, I can TOTALLY arrange that...)


So, what was the point?!

Why do something like this if you're not doing it to lose weight or whatever? Let me just tell you what I learned while doing Wh30...

I have INCREDIBLE will power.
This was a huge newsflash to me. I have NEVER been able to turn down sweets, or French fries, or breadsticks. I learned that I AM able to stick to something so strict for 30 days. They say that 21 days is a habit, but honestly I know it will take me a LOT longer to make this something that will provide lasting change.

There is added sugar in EVERYTHING.
Seriously, it was stupid, and eye opening, to see how much sugar is added into things that you would never guess... like Taco Seasoning. Look at your ingredients lists on your food. It'll blow your mind.

I ENJOY being healthy.
I put so much effort into going to the gym, into making healthy decisions and into loving myself the way I am, it just makes sense to put good quality food into my system. I do miss the junk too. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think a huge plate of pasta sounded wonderful. But I also think that some zucchini noodles or spaghetti squash with pasta sauce would be WONDERFUL. Wh30 has taught me that there are some great ways to eat delicious foods, and great flavors that can still be obtained with healthy options.

Even YOU can inspire people.
Yes, you have to say that in Smokey the Bear's voice. But in all seriousness, I had no idea that people were paying attention. I think we all forget what kind of reach we have to the people around us. I have had multiple people contact me and tell me about how they are deciding to make healthy changes in their lives, or that they want to get started exercising, or that they went for a run, because they saw one of my posts. I am BEYOND honored to have been able to inspire those around me because I am constantly inspired by those around me. You all have heard me talk about my online health group and they are always posting about their struggles, their wins, and their inspiration. It's truly incredible, guys. You all are encouraging this process for me, for your friends, for your neighbors, even for strangers.


NOW WHAT?!

The 30 days are all done on Sunday! Everyone keeps asking me, "What are you going to have? What will you eat?! Are you going to keep eating like that?" and here is my basic response...

I'm going to have a PB&J sandwich. Why? Because it has sounded good EVERY SINGLE DAY. Also because I look at a sign that says "Rock your PBJ" so I think the company is brainwashing me... and it's working. It's going to be magnificent. However, my first day off of Wh30 is Super Bowl Sunday... I'll have to be careful so it does not become Super Bowel Sunday... (See what I did there?)

They warn you about getting off of Wh30, because your body isn't used to processing those foods any more. It's very easy to get sick on your first couple days back when it comes to reintegrating things. My plan is to go mostly Paleo after having a few snacks that have been banned for a while. (However, I do plan on keeping eggs and coffee in my diet).


Basically, this was hard. It's never going to be easy when it comes to being healthy because, unfortunately, we live in a world where cheap and convenient rule. Thankfully, by doing the Wh30, I learned so much about good nutrition, healthy relationships with food, and overall health. It is so worth the extra effort and I can't wait to see what some of these new changes do over a longer period of time.

Like they say in the book that inspired the Wh30, It Starts With Food...

So... Start.

The Life of Sarah: The 2014 Highlight Reel

It's getting toward the end of 2014 which means it's about that time for sentimentality and all sorts of retrospectives on the past year. You see the top songs of 2014, the top movies of 2014, the most influential people of 2014, the best tweets of 2014, etc. It's all about the highlights.

What better way to follow up the "Thankful For the Crap"  post than with a Highlight reel?! I figured, everyone else is making these great 2014 Recap's, so I guess I should make one too!  A LOT of my highlights have been covered in other posts on No End In Sight, but not all of them.

Not only did I create my list of highlights, but as I was compiling them, I realized that these highlights strengthened me as a person. They made me happier, stronger, and more successful.

So I'd like to take a second, just sit right there, and I'll tell you all about how I became... happier in 2014. (Tell me you didn't just sing that like Will Smith and I will know you're lying!)


The Best of 2014- According to Sarah
I had my first snowday as a grownup.
Yes, this is most definitely how I am going to start of this post because it was quite a fun experience. You take snow, unexpected PAID time off, the Olympics and peppermint Schnapps, mix it all together and you get a pretty fun couple days. There was no learning curve to this experience, just the pure, child-like joy that is SNOW.

I started a kick ass blog.
It came out of a dark place, but the beauty is that it saved me from darker places. 2014's mantra was "2014 is the year of positive thoughts" because I found myself struggling to find positivity. 2014 was hard. It was ugly at times. I cried a hell of a lot. But one thing I could always count on was that I could pour all of my emotions and decisions into my virtual diary, where some of my closest friends -as well as total strangers- could weigh in, or at least know what I was going through. It turned from my venting space to a place of connection. I also felt that I continued to grow in the way I communicated. I was (and still am) able to put it all out on the line, even if I choose not to publish certain posts. Yet another beautiful result of this blog is the comments I have received from my readers. The notes saying, "That post really hit me because..." or "Thank you for addressing that!" truly warm my feelers. I appreciate you taking the time to go through my jumbled thoughts.

I got my butt in gear. Literally.
Getting into the gym in March was probably the one of the most positive things to come of this year. I have maintained a 15 pound weight-loss, I'm in the process of getting my Zumba Instructor Certification, and I've found a "gym family." Finding my physical strength was also an incredible way of staying positive and mentally strong.

I saw some AWESOME concerts.
Black Jack Billy, Cole Swindell, Lee Brice, Bella Fleck, Katy Perry, Chase Rice x2, Nickel Creek. All incredible shows and I CANNOT wait for 2015's concert opportunities.

I became best friends with my siblings.
How cliche is that? Maybe it's because we're all adults now. Maybe it's because we all live apart, so we're not annoyed by each other. It could be any of those things but I think it's because my mom and dad did an incredible job raising three human beings (but I'm a little biased). I have had more support from those two boogers in the last year than from anyone. They let me cry, they make me laugh, I let them cry and I help them laugh. I truly value you both, Andy and Hannah. You are two amazing role models even though you'll both always be my wittle babies.

I fell in love.
Okay so technically, this happened in 2013 but it deepened in 2014. Falling in love is a pretty incredible thing. Although it didn't end well, I am very very thankful for learning how to fall in love. I know it happens differently every time but I learned about what type of partner I am. I learned that I am able to be a great girlfriend. I learned that I am able to be selfless. I learned that I am able to feel deeply. I learned that I am able to be incredibly happy in a relationship and I learned that I AM still incredibly happy. Which leads to the next highlight.

I also fell in love... with myself as a single woman.
When the love I talked about was cut short, I had to do some soul-searching. I made some decisions that led me to discover what an incredible woman I have become in the last 23 years. No, that is not some conceited statement. It is a sense of confidence that I have been trying to find for a long time. When I had my love rejected, I had to invest that love in myself. I took care of myself. I let myself be sad. I let myself be cared for. I let myself heal and I let myself be happy again. I found strength and I found my laughter. And dang it, I LOVE laughing, because let's be real, I'm hilarious.

I took some fun trips.
I ventured to the coast for a wedding, the mountains for a camping trip, to Montana for another wedding, and to California for turkey day. All of the company was wonderful. The memories were beautiful and I hope to remember them for a long time to come.

I found an incredible job.
Are you guys sick of me talking about my awesome job yet? Well, get over it because I love it. I love the people I work with, the tasks I do, the mission of the company, the community we serve. ALL OF IT. Definitely one of the biggest highlights of the year.

My roomie is one of my besties.
I've had a lot of roommates. All amazing women. Some working better than others. But let me tell you about my oober-goober roommate. If Hannah and I lived together, I think it would be very similar to living with Emmie. I feel like she's me when I was 19. She's outgoing, and silly. She's not afraid to be a dork. She will have deep conversations with me and then run through the hallway to scare me five minutes later. I'm so blessed to have my little Emlynne Faith. It's always an adventure, and usually a struggle, but at least we're on the struggle bus together. HA HA!

I re-engaged my life with Jesus.
Cue the inspirational music, the robed choir and the televangelists. No but seriously. I started reading my bible (app) every night. I found a beautifully engaging church that not only relates to my everyday life, but it also lives up to the Christian ideal of family and stewardship. I have been able to see the work that Christ is doing in my life, but also how our church is making a difference in the world. I cannot wait to learn more about how to walk a more loving and supportive life with the Lord.

I met AMAZING people.
From the amazing crew at my local Dutch Bros., to the tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum that share my office, to the amazing Zumba family that I've found, I have been incredibly blessed with a multitude of personalities to add to my arsenal of friends. Each person brings something new to the table. I am so excited to watch these relationships flourish.

I took my mantra, "2014 is the year of positive thoughts," and turned it into a reality.
It wasn't easy. Sometimes I had to lie to myself and tell myself all this positive mumbo jumbo to get through. But I'll tell you a secret. Deep down, truly in my heart, I knew it was going to be okay. I knew that my positivity would prevail, and guess what? It did!! The power of suggestion is a pretty powerful thing. So to those of you needing that last little positive boost before the new year, here it is: Never underestimate yourself. You are amazing.


The greatest part about looking back on this highlight reel is that I have realized how much happier I am in December, as opposed to where I was in January. God puts us on "this crazy, magic, sometimes almost tragic, awful beautiful life" (please, someone get that reference...), and as my mom says, "If God leads you to it, He will bring you through it." God led me through a year of trials, of building, of growth.

Despite some rough waters, this year was one of the best. I am incredibly thankful. I am especially thankful for YOU! You're reading my blog, which was my little love child idea. Thank you for listening.

May you all have a blessed Christmas. And I will leave you with this:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. - John 14:27

Why the world needs more Strong Women, and less Hard Women.

Strength is such a broad and often generic word. He is so strong, she is so strong. Are you talking about a body builder or a cancer survivor? Are you talking about the kid who lost half of his leg, or the sexual abuse victim? Is it mental, is it physical, is it emotional?

I was thinking this morning on my drive to work about some of the women in my life. I've been blessed with a huge pool of female role models, from family members, to supervisors, to coworkers and friends. So many of these women have incredibly admirable qualities, one of the biggest of the bunch is their strength. I've also seen some women who take strength to a whole new zip code. They want to be strong so they become hard. They become unapproachable, cynical, and straight up rude. They go from women who have endured, to women who have calloused.

So, with two words that can sometimes be so similar and sometimes be so opposite, I decided to ask some of my loyal readers what they thought were the differences between hard women and strong women. Of course they didn't disappoint...

Well I feel like a strong woman knows when she is in a vulnerable position and can learn from that experience in order to become stronger or gain strength. A hard woman, I feel, is someone who is not emotionally stable. Someone who puts on a facade of "Im too tough to cry even though I feel like my whole world is crumbling"- Gal, 24

The difference is the way they deal with difficult times and how many of those times they've had to deal with. - Guy, 26

A hard woman to me means cynical, cold, unfeeling. She lets the things in her life build walls around her heart. Strong women still have feelings. They let themselves feel things but they are mature enough to see what they can gain or learn from really tough experiences. - Gal, 25

First off let me say, a strong woman is very sexy. I'm not entirely sure why, but watching a woman confidently -not like a psycho though- put a man in his place cracks me up (insert shit eating grin here). She's classy, very smart, works her tail off. Plus she will rock the bedroom because, well, she knows her man wants it but will make him work for it, otherwise it wouldn't be a challenge. Hard women? To me that sounds like an old landlord of mine. Crazy ass "strong willed independent woman." Asks her husband to do things, then tears him a new one just to do it.Always in control. She's probably incredibly self conscious so she built walls and acted tough, then got angry when those walls kept people out. Strong women are legit, they are true. There isn't a whole made up story or layer of BS to cover up mistakes or heartbreaks. It's awesome. I think it's the confidence and the ability to realize a mistake is just a learning experience. - Guy, 24

So the general consensus is that strong women still feel. Hard women are flat liners.

To be honest, I expected people to interpret the strong woman vs. hard woman in terms of job-related qualities, but was surprised when the descriptions of the differences were personal characteristics. I thought  it was interesting that the four people I asked ALL addressed the question from a place of conflict. This question had no background info attached, so for all four individuals to relate it to how women react in conflict was fascinating to me.

I think it is SO important to encourage women to be strong without being hard. I know far too many millennial women (and women of other generations as well) who are heading down what I believe to be the unhealthier of the strong vs. hard decision. They get their hearts broken, they find conflict in work, or they give up on something and say "I will never let this happen again," when a strong women would say, "how can I learn from this?" By closing yourself off to opportunities because of a bad experience, how will you ever grow?! So you had a crappy boss... The whole industry isn't out to get you. You fell in love and it didn't work out? You're not going to die alone. You gave up on a dream? There's still time.... go get it.

Strong women have so much to offer. They are compassionate but stern. Driven but not obsessed. They are vulnerable but they also know when the pity party is over. A strong woman is aware of her self, but she is also aware of how she treats others. A strong woman teaches, a hard woman dictates. A strong woman strives to understand, a hard woman points the finger. If we become a generation of women that become too hard, we will lose sight of our resilient strength.

Even if you're not a woman reading this, it's important to encourage the women in your life to stay away from the callousness and lean toward the understanding. Learn from your experiences. Let them shape you but not change you. I love the quote by Michelangelo, "Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it." This is the perfect analogy for staying strong without becoming hard. You have to make small adjustments in little pieces, but you don't change the material. You don't change yourself, you change the final product.

TRUE LIFE: My Stupid Facebook Addiction

So, I did something stupid. I committed to two weeks without Facebook.

Ever since I got a Facebook my senior year of high school, I am a constant updater, liker, sharer, poster, commenter and everything else Facebook-y. I love it because I stay connected with my family in OH. I learn about current events (or at least the ones that millenials care about, like Beyonce's VMA performance or the death of Robin Williams). I see my friends' kids grow up even when I can't be a constant presence in their lives.


HOWEVER-

I realized recently how dependent I am on a stupid social networking website. I checked it every five minutes, or more. At every stoplight. In between reps at the gym. While I was watching TV. Right when I woke up. The HOUR before I went to sleep. Not until I did a little unexpected life-audit did I realize how frequently I was on FB. Sure, my friends made fun of me for being on it so much but isn't everyone?!

That's when the challenge came to mind: I was going to do a 2 week Facebook cleanse. I had one of my most trustworthy friends log onto my FB and change my password for me. Yes, I could always push the "Forgot my Password" button, but that's cheating and I am NOT a cheater. Especially when my friend is holding me accountable. Heck, I gave it up for Lent in the past and 14 days is a piece of cake compared to 40 right?

Right. And wrong.

It's been good to stay away from FB, especially in a time where I'm feeling slightly alone. Facebook is the ultimate demise for FOMO sufferers like myself (for all of you non-millenials out there, FOMO is an abbreviation for
I gave up Facebook for Lent three years ago. I did NOT realize how much of my life was tied to the site until this weekend, my first FB-free days in quite some time. My Spotify account is linked to it. My coupon apps are linked to it. My Pinterest is linked to it. My Instagram is linked to it. My Bible App is linked to it. My life is tied to Facebook.

So, what good is this little cleanse doing for me after three days?!
Other than me not getting my normal savings at Target and the likes, I am already seeing a difference!

Yes, I'm guilty of filling some of my previously-allocated FB time to Instagram and my Horoscope, but I have already noticed that when I'm watching TV, I'm actually watching the program. At work, I have found other things to fill that "empty" time (Watch TEDtalks. They're magical!). When I am hanging out with friends, I am not constantly on my phone. Yes, I am still texting. I still send stupidly ugly-faced Snapchats. I still play games and look up music videos. Despite my still-technically-infused life, I am not as distracted by Facebook throughout my day.

Facebook is great, and I miss it (yep, that sounds super pathetic as I type it) but I have realized that a balance needs to be created in my life so that I am not as relient on a cyberworld of connection.

ON THE DOWN SIDE. None of you are going to see this for another week and a half! That's okay though, it'll help me see how many of these views are from a constant readership ;)

KEEP GOING: When LIFE hands you lemons, you make a Lemon Meringue Pie.

There was a point this year where I didn't know that lemons could produce anything sweet. They were sour, and made me make a face that semi-resembled this little guy.

(Image from Pinterest)

But way less cute.


Let me tell you, I had plenty of lemons. I hated my job, the weather was (in true Oregon style) dismal, I didn't feel like I had many friends in this town that I had begun to call home, and my support system was scattered all over the country. It's not like anyone was dying or I was out on the streets or anything, but things weren't all unicorns and rainbows.

At that point, my mantra was hard to believe, and even harder to maintain. But there was a saying that my one of my god-awful volleyball coaches from high school always said; "Fake it til you make it." 

SO THAT'S WHAT I DID. Because there is always a reason to keep going. At the time, I wanted to give up and poop out on this new challenge of being a grownup. I somehow managed to push through. How, you may ask?
 
Well here it goes, Sarah's fool-proof reasons why you NEED keep going:

Life gives you seasons.
There is not a person on this earth who is happy all the time. There is not a person on this earth who has not seen a bad-hair day, or a stubbed toe, or felt like they were all alone... literally or figuratively. We all see the sunny days and we all see the gloomy days. To be as cliche as possible, we wouldn't see the good if we didn't have the bad to compare. Now, sometimes there comes a point where you have a hard time remembering the good, but as the great Albus Dumbledore once said, “Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” Gee, that dude is smart...

You are not a starving child in Africa.
And if you are, I apologize that you're seeing this blog instead of some cool and inspiring thing that the internet could provide. My point here is it could be worse. Just because it could be worse, doesn't mean it doesn't suck. When I had to eat pb&j sandwiches and plain spaghetti noodles with butter for a week because my "full time job" couldn't afford me any food, I was pretty bummed. However, I had SOMETHING to eat. I was not starving. Sure, I was hungry and bummed with my lack of options, but I wasn't starving. It could be worse, so take a moment to be thankful for what you have.

Pity Parties are made for cowards.
There is nothing that I hate more than pity parties. You can ask ANY of my closest friends and family members. I do not tolerate a woe-is-me attitude. Sure, we all need to relinquish defeat to our hard times on occasion, but if you get stuck on it, I'm probably going to slap you into reality and out of your whine sesh. While we're sticking with the Dumbledore quotes, let's view my absolute favorite quote by the genius himself; “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” If you are cowardly and obsessing over how sucky your life is, you're going to lead a sucky life. Time to suck it up, put on your big kid panties and make some changes.

Someone is cheering for you.
It might not feel like it but, even if it's just me, SOMEONE out there wants you to succeed. Maybe it's your mom, or your grandpa, or your little brother, or your second grade teacher, or a stranger you met at work. SOMEONE is rooting for you. If you ever need to hear that someone is cheering you on to keep going, let me know. I will be your support system through the hardest of times, because that's what friends are for.

Somewhere out there is an opportunity of a lifetime.
This one takes a lot of faith and even more persistence. Who knows what it is? It could be taking a trip to Haiti to work at an orphanage. It could be mentoring a group of at-risk individuals. It could be taking a job at a company you have always enjoyed but didn't know what kind of opportunity it would lead to (cough... this one is me... cough). Whatever it is, you have to actively search it out. My dad always says that opportunity is about patience and preparation. You have to be actively preparing for something while patiently waiting to see what kind of options are out there. Whatever it is, keep going... You'll get there.


So, yeah... you've got some lemons... But you've got someone cheering you on; that's the sugar. You've got the bravery to not cave in on pity; that's the egg whites. You've got a lifetime of opportunity; that's the butter. You've got perspective and are thankful for what you DO have; that's the crust.

Yeah, you've got lemons, but without the lemons, you could not create such a beautiful and delicious Lemon Merigue pie (which is a metaphor for life, obviously...).

Because 2014 is the year of positive thoughts, I have been trying to maintain an opimistic outlook throughout the last 7 months, which was a lot easier at times than at others. Many times, I had to fake positivity, only to cry in the shower when I got home. But with all of these steps, I was led to an incredible job, a great sense of belonging, and a new apartment that is one of the home-iest places I've been in a while.

I am not a sad person. I am happy. I am extroverted. I am giggly and silly and sometimes immature. Lemons cannot, and will not, ruin that.

Remember that cute sour-faced baby? Here's another one, after trying a lemon as well, but an entirely different view on life... and lemons.


(Image from Pinterest)

What I learned from a job I HATED.

Today is a really great day. It's cold and rainy outside despite it being June 27th, but it's a great freakin' day.

"Why, Sarah?! Why is today a great freakin' day?!"

Today is the last day working a job I truly dreaded every single morning when I left for work. It has been quite the task, trying to stay optimistic and learn from a job that I had initially expected so much from. When people asked me what I was learning in this position, it was hard for me to come up with a valid answer. I didn't really learn much about the industry. I didn't really learn any new skills. I didn't really learn the key to my eternal happiness... Well, that escalated quickly...

However, this morning when I sat down at my desk, I had a few things come to mind. It was like popcorn going off inside my brain, "Oh you learned this and this and this...."

What had I learned from a job that I hated?

That I am adaptable. To an extent.
It constantly amazes me that we as humans are able to adapt and change depending on our surroundings. My jobs in college were exciting, loud, inventive and full of life, but I adapted into a cubicle with little noise and lots of whispering. That wasn't as bad as it sounds. I also was able to adapt what little technology I had access to in order to make the projects successful, like creating graphs and diagrams in Paint. Yes, I said Paint, like the program you used to color on your parents computer when you were little. I also learned that our generation is much more adaptable to change. We're used to constantly learning new technological programs and we've been raised around constantly changing economics. We know that things happen quickly and that you have to keep up so you don't get left behind.

To stand up for myself.
I kind of HAD to learn this one. I was being emotionally trampled and manipulated. All it took was one coworker to come up and ask if I was okay (after about two months with the company) before I broke down into an ugly girl cry at the reception desk. I didn't realize how badly the negative workplace atmosphere was effecting my self-worth. At that point, my bawling made a scene (or at least it felt like it did), so the issues I was upset about finally made it to the front lines. I was brutally honest when talking with my supervisor about the things that bugged me and a few things actually changed. Finally, being forced to stand up for yours truly caused an increase in my self-confidence.

When to let things go.
I learned very quickly to choose my battles. It was the A-team against me on a few of my early issues with my supervisors. I realized that many times, my tasks were taken from me (not because I couldn't handle them) and I had to choose which ones to fight to retain.

How to work with the most unintelligent human on the planet.
Yep, I found this person. You can spell things out so that a fourth grader could do it but this person will still have questions. Working with such a difficult individual has not only given me a bajillion more grey hairs, but this person has helped me learn to hold my tongue. Many times, I let little sarcastic comments fly but I tried very hard to learn how to be graceful in the face of frustration.

That I have been very blessed with amazing coworkers and supervisors in my past.
Wowza, this one is so true. I have always known how big of a blessing my former coworkers and bosses have been, but this job made it even more obvious. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed the company of a handful of my cowrokers here but nothing like the camaraderie that I've seen elsewhere (SHOUT OUT TO J-Stop and MUPC). Also to the crazy awesome bosses in my past work experiences... I am who I am and I have the incredibly high work-place standards that I have because of the communities you created. Erin and Linda, I'm talking to you two ladies in particular :)

That I am a creative worker.
This position left absolutely no room for creativity. I don't mind routine and I don't mind data. But when you have nothing to do and very little creative freedom in the tasks you're actually assigned, you start missing that creation and independence.

That boredom is NOT my friend.
I LOVE being busy. Not in a "Holy crap I need to stay until midnight and work every night" kind of way, but in a "I constantly have something to do" kind of way. When you have 2 hours total of work in an 8 hour work day, you learn a whole new type of boredom and let me just tell you, it's absolutely exhausting. I'm looking forward to projects and tasks.

And last but certainly not least.
I learned that I LOVE blogging.
It's funny and completely unrelated to my job, but I think that this blog is my biggest take away from this whole experience. I had tried blogging in the past but hadn't found a real purpose behind my writing. NOW, I have found an edge, an excitement and an outlet to discuss what we're going through in our early twenties. I may not be a Carrie Bradshaw, but I have truly enjoyed the conversations that have sprung up through the course of the last two months. I've had mature conversations with friends about the issues in their lives. I've learned about the things to which people truly need support. I've gotten texts and emails saying that the things we're talking about here completely relate to what they're going through in life and that it's been nice to know that we're in it together. This blog has been a huge reason why I feel like my life has taken a more positive path and it comes from the conversations I've had around these topics.


Because of you readers, I have pushed myself toward a more positive outlook and in the last year, that hasn't been easy. In the last 12 months, I have graduated college, sifted through 4 jobs, moved twice (three times if you count my move in the next two weeks), thought I fell in love, then ACTUALLY fell in love, lost -and gained- friendships, fought depression, and made it out alive. Man, the last year has been a doosie. But with a positive outlook, I really believe that there is no end to this progress in sight.

Cheers to the next phase, my dears.

Our generation's race to "the ring."

No I'm not talking about a quest to Mordor with Frodo and Samwise. 

I'm talking about our generation's obsession with marriage. "Mawwaige is what bwings us togevver today." (If you don't know what movie that's from... just go away. We can't be friends.) In the world where Pinterest plans out a single girl's imaginary wedding and there are more wedding magazines than political newspapers, we have become a generation that is obsessed with getting married. I'm not talking strictly about women either!

The other day I was talking to one of my dearest guy friends about some of my previous blog posts. Firstly, I was surprised he was reading it! (By the way, thank you everyone for reading!) Secondly, I asked him what things he related to the most and what he thought would be a good topic for discussion. He said that he related to a lot of the posts, from the financial blog to the career choices. But he brought up an interesting and honest topic for discussion: the pressure to get settled down and find "the right one." 

Naturally, I wanted to ask him more about the pressures males go through on this topic and what freaks him out about such a hot topic.

Me: What do you feel is the biggest pressure about settling down?

DUDE: Not getting it done in time. I work with a lot of older people who aren't married or just started their careers and it shows me how things could end up which is what I don't want to happen.

Me: Do you talk with your dudes about when they'll settle down? If so, what do you talk about/if not, why not?

DUDE: Sure we do! We talk about what we want, why careers have relationship breaking stigmas, when we will grow up (lol who am I kidding? that won't happen). We talk about if there's going to be some great woman. Other times, we make fun of each other for falling head over heels for some cutie we spoke to for 10 minutes at the coffee shop or the pub. We talk about why we can't talk to women on a Friday night (usually liquid courage is lacking, if not, the girl gets talked to!)

Me: What do you think the average age of 1st marriage is for men and for women?

DUDE: I would guess men 29 and women 27. Seems like people jump on marriage and then get divorced by 40. It's sad. (I was surprised at how close he was to the actual facts!)

Fun Fact: In 2010, the average age for men getting married for the first time was 28 and for women the average was 26. This age continues to grow and is pushing the thirties for the first time EVER. This also could be attributed to the fact that childbearing outside of wedlock has also taken a large jump, therefore couples don't feel the need to marry before having children. (Demos)

(Image from Demos)

Me: Who pressures you the most when it comes to settling down?

DUDE: Honestly, myself. My parents were older than I am. I also think the constant barrage of facebook statuses reading "OMG HE BOUGHT ME A ROCK!!!" doesn't help. Modern women also aren't looking for families before having careers (which is not a bad thing). Careers are number one so that means that women are intensely busy compared to men who are now looking for families. That leaves a bunch of guys looking for something that is becoming harder to find. It's a new and HUGE challenge, but a good one. Traditional roles have flipped but the classic mindset hasn't gone anywhere for most men. It's almost like men have become a bonus gift! Haha. "Great career, money, house, security, okay now maybe I'll go pick up a guy." It leaves some guys feeling inadequate!

Me: Do you think society pushes marriage more on men or women?

DUDE: Honestly, I think it's more men but at a steady pace. It's like "Find a woman, take care of her, and make some babies." That's been our job since age 18. With women, it's like all of a sudden everybody is on her back by the time she's 26 or 27, asking when she's getting married or finding a man (maybe because of the age/baby complications reasoning, not sure). But I still think it's up to men. I guess it's one of the disadvantages of peeing standing up, we have to make the first moves haha.

Let's give an internet round of applause to this wonderful gentleman for answering my inquisitive and personal questions. (WOOO YAAAAAA The crowd goes wild!)

I loved seeing the insight into the male mind, especially on a topic that I hear predominantly from women (maybe just 'cuz I am one!). I really loved hearing that men are thinking the same things we are, but from a slightly different angle. And here's my personal angle on the whole 'getting married' deal.

Now, let's get one thing straight here. I LOVE weddings. Anyone who has ever talked to me for more than 10 minutes will attest to that statement. I mean, I used to work for a wedding coordination company for goodness sake. I still go on walks and find gazebos that would be a wedding junkie's dream. I love how happy people are at weddings. I love the googly eyed look of the newlywed couple. It legitimately makes my heart sing.

But here's my pet peeve. 

A marriage is not about a wedding.

A marriage is about holding someone through the death of a parent. A marriage is about playing rock, paper, scissors over who has to do the dishes that night. It's about getting angry at your partner but finding ways to work it out, whether that's yelling, crying, pictionary or make-up sex. A marriage is about loving your babies, whether they have fur, gils, or chubby little fingers and toes. It's about the relationship and the growth that happens individually as well as the growth that happens together. 

I know, I'm not married so I don't know what it's like.

HOWEVER, at 23 years old, I've been to a LOT of weddings. Some couples have been together for more than 10 years, some as short as three months. I've seen the harsh reality of trials and tribulations where some couples make it out stronger than ever and I've also seen some couples be painstakingly broken down. It's sad but at 23 years old, I've already seen quite a few of my peers getting divorced. It's heart-breaking to watch. That is not what I want for my friends, for my family or for myself.

So here's my advice to DUDE and everyone out there looking and waiting for Mrs./Mr. Right:

Stop looking.

Don't rush to get/give the ring!!! WAY easier said than done. But seriously, the more pressure you put on yourself to settle down, the more likely you are to settle with the wrong person. That won't end well for anyone. Desperation does not lead to happily ever after. Patience is what leads to happiness. Remember the whole premise of this blog; "There's no end in sight." You don't want the end that you're reaching for to be a $40,000 day, where Uncle Bob gets wasted and throws up on the dance floor. You want to be reaching for a partnership in marriage. 

So, kick back. Hang out with friends. Meet new people. Laugh. Find something you're passionate about. Get in trouble (but not too much). Date the wrong person. Make a fool out of yourself. 

MAYBE, just maybe, after doing all these things, you'll find the one you're supposed to be with for a long time. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky people and it will be a "forever" love.

Thanks again for reading and if you have anything you want covered, shoot a topic or question my way!

SPEAKING OF:

DUDE had a few questions to throw my way about how best to get a conversation start with us sly sexy ladies. DUDE, here ya go!

DUDE: How does a guy approach a girl at the bar?

Well, this is going to be different for every single person you talk to. All I can say is just be genuine. If you come up to a woman at the bar with some corny pick-up line (unless it's a REALLLLLYYYY good and creative one), prepare to get the eye-roll/cold shoulder. As vague as it is, we just want you to be real with us. I can't give you a fool proof line or a secret handshake that will automatically get you a date, but my advice is be real. 

My second piece of advice on this one? Don't be shy! Confidence is so incredibly sexy, but make sure you're not a cocky asshole. Sure, you'll strike out every once in a while, but in the event that you find someone really cool to talk to (even if it never develops any farther), it's totally worth it!

DUDE: How do you talk to them (women) correctly?

Dude, I want to punch you a little bit for this question. You're not talking to a baby or to a crazed rabid dog. There's not a "correct" way to talk to a woman. ACTUALLY, on second thought, there is. Talk to us like we're human beings that warrant some respect. You know I'm just giving you a hard time, but seriously, it goes back to question #1. We just want you to be genuine. Find interest in something we're doing/saying/playing/whatever! Then we'll do the talking and you can give the smolder...

Inspired by.

Straight up, yo.

How can I take "ME TIME" without being Lazy?!

I think I love being lazy. Yet I totally hate being lazy. It's a very complicated relationship.

One part of me screams, "Netflix, gurrrllll. Get under that comforter and watch 'House' ALL DAY LONG!"

The other side of me says, "Um, have you looked at the time yet?! You've been sitting here for two hours. Do you know how clean your house could be in two hours?! Do you know how many calories you could have burned??!!"

Yesterday, I was totally taken over by the lazy bug. Mason was visiting and after two days of constantly going from one place to the next and staying up late, we ended up vegging out all day long. The sun was finally coming out and a few hours by the pool were just what we needed, followed up by watching a movie and making a batch of homemade lime-aid. So after dropping Mason back at the station - following a day of extreme laziness- what did I do?

I watched four hours of television.

Seems like a great idea right?! Well, I have this disease that I like to call lazy-guilt. I have been conditioned to think that I need to be busy. It's an epidemic that our generation has created and I have fallen victim. I have the delusional idea that I need to constantly be doing something productive.

But the thing that I need to remember is that it's okay to rest. It's okay to take a break. It's okay to binge watch the last month's worth of episodes of "Once Upon a Time," as long as you don't make it a regular habit. Our bodies, and brains, physically need some time to catch up with the busy lives we lead, and sometimes a day of relaxation is what it takes. HOWEVER, you cannot get addicted to the nothingness that is so relaxing. How can you find a balance between re-setting and laziness? 

1) Set yourself a limit. By setting a limit -whether it's time, number of episodes, etc- you will have a tangible boundary to maintain.
2) Find little tasks to do in the middle of relaxing. Fold Laundry, pick up your room while your laptop is buffering. Do 20 jumping jacks on each commercial break. Whatever you do, set yourself up for some little victories!
3) Use relaxation as a reward! Knock those chores out of the park before you curl up into your cocoon of down-comforter goodness. If you do this, you won't spend your time stressing over what all you SHOULD be doing while you're catching up on old One Tree Hill episodes that you've already seen five times.


It's a constant battle of wanting to take care of myself, but still fulfilling the tasks that need to be done and I can do both as long as there's a balance. Take care of YOU so that your stuff can get done eventually.



Don't forget to follow "No End In Sight"!

DO YOU HAVE ANY TOPICS THAT NEED A POSITIVE BOOST?! Shoot me a message and we can add some positivity to your daily life too!!!

Transforming Boredom

I don't know about you but I loathe boredom.

I was brought up in a family of three kids, but with our activity level, we could have made up for six. Each one of us was extremely involved with sports, school, 4-H (for you city folk, 4-H is a *mostly* agricultural youth organization and we showed livestock), and countless sleepovers. I legitimately don't know how we were able to do so much and have any hours left for sleeping.

Long story short, I LOVED IT.

Not only was I kept out of trouble (for the most part ;) ), but I was also introduced to so many growing life experiences. If you're a parent right now, please sign your kid up for t-ball, or ballet, or skateboarding. Whatever it is... SIGN THEM UP! It doesn't matter if he or she can't run in a straight line, or catch a ball. ALL that matters is that you're teaching these kids the values of team building, of persistence, of failure... which are HUGELY important lessons for kids to learn gracefully.

Okay. Rant over.

ANYWAY-

Growing up in such a busy atmosphere was wonderful. It made us appreciate down time, along with the busyness  too. When I got to college I realized I had SO much free time. But inversely, instead of appreciating the down time, I became lost because I didn't know how to fill such a vast schedule. The beginning of college was pretty difficult because like I said, I HATE being bored. Before I knew it, I was finding hints of depression popping up in my everyday life.

Fast forward four more years. I had the EXACT same thing happen at the end of college. I went from a super busy and exciting life of school work, two jobs, an internship, incredible friend groups and LOTS of country western dancing - yep, that's a thing - to a job that gave me anxiety attacks and absolutely no time for social interactions.

HOLD UP! This is supposed to be a positivity blog!!! (Hang with me, it's coming...)

Then, in a twist of events, I switched jobs out of the blue in an attempt to get back to the obnoxiously bubbly person that I am. However, I work at a job that plops me in front of a computer and all I do is scan Pinterest for eight hours. I witness grown adults acting like middle school girls. I watched the Olympics from my desk for two weeks straight. Sounds wonderful, right? WRONG. You are so SO WRONG. The boredom level is exponential.

Here's where we're going to turn these things to find the positive.

I've learned that I am a structure junkie! I love having a schedule (that can be bent, but at least it's there!). I also have learned that it's up to me to fill my time outside of work. I've started consistently going to the gym, and despite being tired after my hour long commute everyday, I make sure that I get at least one friend date in every week. These things are little changes, but it makes a big difference. When it comes to weekends, the grown-up in me knows I should clean the house/do the laundry. The long-distance girlfriend in me wants to go visit my man. The friend in me wants to hang out with EVERYONE. I've learned that my boredom throughout the week is practically GONE on the weekends so it comes down to balancing. Clean the kitchen on a weeknight, hang out with the boyfriend on the weekend, and later in the week you can incorporate a Kate Hudson movie in there somewhere with your girls. Get it on the schedule. You'll have something to look forward to!


I am also learning a LOT about the executive work force and I have learned tons about what I DON'T want in a career. (I can see the wheels turning and you're thinking, wait... that's still a negative. WRONG AGAIN!)

Learning what you do not want in a given situation is just as much, if not more important than learning what you absolutely do want. I have found myself to be in a position that a majority of my generation finds themselves. We finish college, try out our career and realize, that's not actually what we wanted.... SO NOW WHAT?

By learning what I don't want (a career in logistical transportation, large amounts of down-time, a sitting desk job, an office without people my own age), I am able to narrow down the things that make me passionate. I'm learning about the people I want to surround myself with and what kind of atmospheres I work best in. I am positively looking at this situation and realizing that I can do a lot more to make this a growing experience. I desire fast-paced excitement, face-to-face customer interaction, movement, relatable coworkers, a community atmosphere. I do not plan on staying at this job forever. But I WILL learn a great deal from the time that I do devote to this company. I know that I'll continue to learn so that I'm prepared for my next big change.

Who knows, maybe this blogging thing will work out ;)

Also, if you made it this far, you deserve a gold star! That was a long one!