I guess I can say I'm a Runner now.

I've never liked running...

My legs are short and I'm slow. That's just how I'm built at 5' 1". I don't enjoy being out of breath and sweating is gross. (I really hate sweat, even though I work out a lot. It's so gross and stinky.) My dad, who got it from my grandpa, always says, "We're Buell's. We may be short... but we're slow!" Dad, that is NOT a good thing. And then of course they would both chuckle with how plain and ordinary our gene pool is when it comes to height and speed. That saying makes me roll my eyes WAY too far back.

I've honestly tried liking running. I've gone through multiple phases in my life where I tell myself, "This is the time... you're going to do it and you're going to like it dammit!" People always say that there is this thing called a runner's high. I had never found it. It was more like runners "die" to me. I was constantly exhausted. (And don't even get me started on how hungry I always was after running. I still wonder how runners are so dang skinny when they eat so freaking much.)

But in January, my friend Anna texted me and asked if I would want to do an 8 kilometer run with her in March. I said sure before looking up how many miles an 8k was.... IT'S FIVE MILES?! I can barely even run 2 miles!! How in the hell am I going to run 5 miles?! I started panicking. I figured the only way to keep myself accountable was to buy that darn race entry. $45 later, I was hyperventilating. Anna and I determined that if we ran four out of the five miles, we'd call it a success, so that night we drew up our race training schedules while watching the Golden Globes and started running next day.

Throughout the running, the sweating and the exhaustive breathing, I learned a heck of a lot.


Adrenaline can be your best friend.
Seriously, it's how mothers pull cars off of their babies and how Edward saves Bella in Twilight... oh wait, just kidding, that was just his cover story. But seriously, on the day of the race, I was practically giddy. No I wasn't doing the half-marathon, I was only doing five miles but those were the five miles that would become my PR of distance at this point in my life. I couldn't stop moving. Even when my knees were hurting. Even when I started feeling those blisters forming around mile 2.5 (and let me tell you, that was UNCOMFORTABLE!). I couldn't stop, because the adrenaline was helping push me to the end of that five miles.

Sometimes you need someone to challenge you.
On the days where I didn't want to run, I knew that my running partner had invited me to do this with her. She might not "need" me to run with her, but she was training. She was putting the effort in. She was in this too. I had that accountability to hold on to, even if we weren't running together every day.

You will hit setbacks.
In my case, it was getting rear-ended on my way to work. In the middle of my training schedule, I was told that I wasn't allowed to workout for 2 weeks, and then for 2 weeks after that I was limited to low impact workouts. I started panicking again. "I've only gotten to three and a half miles!! I'm going to lose all of my hard work!" (In case you hadn't figured out, I'm good at panicking...)

But in the end it's up to you.
You can choose to give up, or you can choose to keep moving. I kept walking. That was all I was allowed to do according to my doctor, so I walked. You find ways to keep moving towards your goal, even if it's slowly walking at an incline on a treadmill. You have the power to see a situation in a positive light.

You have people cheering you on. (Even strangers!)
My favorite sign of the whole day was one that said "GO STRANGER, GO!" That was one of the profound moments in the run. People wanted to see you succeed. Even if they don't know you. And sometimes you see people you do know, and they cheer you on, or you cheer them on! The point is that even though there will be haters and jerks, people love seeing success.

You don't have to have the coolest gear, but having the RIGHT gear is important.
Cuz if your stuff looks cool but gives you massive blisters, it sucks. Period.

I underestimate myself.
This is something that I learn time and time again, yet I never quite expect how it will slap me in the face. It's funny because over the last couple years, I have surprised myself so many times through resilience, strength and perseverance. I somehow made it through college with my support system living 2500 miles away. I have managed to keep almost 20 pounds off for a year. I am working toward becoming a Zumba instructor. And yesterday, for the first time, I ran five miles.... and couldn't wipe the smile off my face for the rest of the day.



Anna and I ran the whole five miles, accompanied by her dad and 8,000 other 8k runners (the irony of 8,000 runners running 8,000 meters is not lost on me...). We did it. We didn't even walk the mile that we had originally planned on walking. And guess what's the craziest part? I'm ready to find another race!

I might have run the race slowly, but I ran 5 miles, so I guess you could say I'm a Runner now. And believe it or not, I think I might continue to be a Runner.

The Whole30: Heaven and Hell

If you follow any of my social media platforms, you'll know that I did this crazy thing called the Whole30. I've posted food photos like the ultimate Instagram-Obsessed-White-Girl that I am. I've found recipes and shared them as if it was going out of style. It has been quite the incredible journey. But man was it HARD; a very, very hard incredible journey. There have been ups and downs, cravings, and weird dreams about food. Thankfully though, this Whole30 has taught me SOOO much about my food and my health, but mostly about myself.

So here's how this post is going to look... beware it's a long one. I'm going to tell you what the heck this weirdo dietary plan is, I'm going to tell you about my Whole30 Heavens and Hells, and I will tell you my overall opinion of this insanity.

Here we go...
Many of my friends have asked me a standard progression of questions in regards to the Whole30:

1) What IS the Whole30?

The Whole30 is a RESET button for your body. A button that takes 30 days to push. The program helps with balancing out your whole body by cutting out "all the psychologically unhealthy, hormone-unbalancing, gut-disrupting, inflammatory food groups for a full 30 days. Let your body heal and recover from whatever effects those foods may be causing."  (See more at: http://whole30.com/whole30-program-rules/#sthash.ujsfAjfO.dpuf) The program also helps diminish cravings, helps break mental food addictions, and also helps clear up some pre-existing issues that are related to diet.

SO... What do you cut out?!

• Do not consume added sugar of any kind, real or artificial. No maple syrup, honey, agave nectar, coconut sugar, Splenda, Equal, Nutrasweet, xylitol, stevia, etc. Read your labels, because companies sneak sugar into products in ways you might not recognize.
• Do not consume alcohol in any form, not even for cooking. (And it should go without saying, but no tobacco products of any sort, either.)
• Do not eat grains. This includes (but is not limited to) wheat, rye, barley, oats, corn, rice, millet, bulgur, sorghum, amaranth, buckwheat, sprouted grains and all of those gluten-free pseudo-grains like quinoa. This also includes all the ways we add wheat, corn and rice into our foods in the form of bran, germ, starch and so on. Again, read your labels.
• Do not eat legumes. This includes beans of all kinds (black, red, pinto, navy, white, kidney, lima, fava, etc.), peas, chickpeas, lentils, and peanuts. No peanut butter, either. This also includes all forms of soy – soy sauce, miso, tofu, tempeh, edamame, and all the ways we sneak soy into foods (like lecithin).
• Do not eat dairy. This includes cow, goat or sheep’s milk products such as cream, cheese (hard or soft), kefir, yogurt (even Greek), and sour cream… with the exception of clarified butter or ghee. (See below for details.)
• Do not consume carrageenan, MSG or sulfites. If these ingredients appear in any form on the label of your processed food or beverage, it’s out for the Whole30.
• Do not try to re-create baked goods, junk foods, or treats* with “approved” ingredients. Continuing to eat your old, unhealthy foods made with Whole30 ingredients is totally missing the point, and will tank your results faster than you can say “Paleo Pop-Tarts.” Remember, these are the same foods that got you into health-trouble in the first place—and a pancake is still a pancake, regardless of the ingredients. (See more at: http://whole30.com/whole30-program-rules/#sthash.ujsfAjfO.dpuf)

2) Well, what the heck CAN you eat?!

Great question. And at times, when I peered into my fridge, seeing all of my roommate's non-compliant food, I wondered the exact same thing. Basically, it comes down to meats, veggies, eggs, fruit and healthy fats, such as nuts, fruits, oils and seeds. It sounds restrictive. It is restrictive. But it's also amazing to see the foods that you can come up with given those strict guidelines.


3) Why the heck are you doing this?!/You don't need to lose weight/You already work out a lot.

I hesitate to call it a diet, because I feel like the word diet is associated with weight loss. THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF THIS PROGRAM. Typically, a person will lose a little bit of weight while on this program because you are pretty much flushing the system of all the garbage your body has become accustomed to. I did not start this challenge to lose weight. I started this program because I DO workout 5-6 times a week. I started it because I wanted my healthy eating regimen to be a reflection of my newfound healthy gym life. It's pointless to work out like I do and then stuff my body with junk. (And guess what?! You can kind of see my abs now!)


So how was it? Honestly, it was Heaven... and it was Hell.

Because I'm sticking with the No End In Sight positivity philosophy, we'll start with the Hells and end with the Heavens.

WholeHells:
-Meal prep- I am not a good time keeper so my procrastination usually left me throwing together unplanned ingredients into something I could stomach at work the next day. My usual version of meal prep consisted of making extras at dinner so that I had enough to pack for lunch the next day. Sometimes I would forget (read: fairly frequently), so thankfully the KILLER staff of our café at work would hook me up with a great salad or an omelet if I forgot breakfast.

-Working at Freaking Dave's Killer Bread- I work at a bakery. Not only do I work at a bakery, but we are releasing new products. Not only do I work at a bakery where we are releasing new product, but practically everyone here is a baking superstar so there are ALWAYS treats. Let me tell you, over the last 30 days, I turned down carrot cake for the first time in my life. And then for the second time in my life. And then for the third time in my life. Yes... you read that right. There were three separate instances where carrot cake was served and I said no to it each time. ALL IN ONE WEEK. THAT was hard.

-Digestive stuff...- Not gonna elaborate too much on this one but that was something I was not really expecting.

-The "Kill All Things" phase-  This is the term for days 4-6 of the program, where your body is going through full-fledged, real-life withdrawals. I kid you not, our bodies are addicted to sugar and when you cannot have any additional sugar, you'll get headaches and you'll get angered easily. This wasn't fun. Those headaches were like a caffeine headache on crack. No bueno.

WholeHeavens:
-BOMB-ASS FOOD- Yeah, sorry about the language but seriously guys and gals, I ate some darn good food. Amazing spinach omelets. An apple/banana/strawberry skillet (think apple pie filling without the goo). Avocado "pesto" spaghetti squash with steak and potatoes. Are you hungry yet, cuz I definitely could keep going...

-Bye-Bye Eczema!- Yep, it's gone. Need I say more?

-Poof away the Pimples- *Disclaimer* I'm also using doTerra oils!* But the elimination of all these foods did contribute to my face clearing up.

-ENERGY!!- You all know how much I love my coffee. And anything with caffeine really. BWh30 (Before Whole30), I would usually drink a cup of coffee in the morning and then get another coffee or an energy drink before the gym or just after work in general. I haven't really felt the need to do that while on the Wh30. I have had some sleeping issues but I don't think they're related, so when I did get tired, I'd have a cup of black tea in place of coffee or a Red Bull.

-You can see my muscles!- I truly believe that my body has started burning the stored fats since it hasn't had the short-burst sugars to run off of. I feel like my cellulite has gone down (yes I have cellulite, most people do, get over it ya' diva!) and I think that my muscles look more defined! I'll be selling tickets to the gun show in the near future... (Jk... kind of... if you want to give me money for me to flex my arm, I can TOTALLY arrange that...)


So, what was the point?!

Why do something like this if you're not doing it to lose weight or whatever? Let me just tell you what I learned while doing Wh30...

I have INCREDIBLE will power.
This was a huge newsflash to me. I have NEVER been able to turn down sweets, or French fries, or breadsticks. I learned that I AM able to stick to something so strict for 30 days. They say that 21 days is a habit, but honestly I know it will take me a LOT longer to make this something that will provide lasting change.

There is added sugar in EVERYTHING.
Seriously, it was stupid, and eye opening, to see how much sugar is added into things that you would never guess... like Taco Seasoning. Look at your ingredients lists on your food. It'll blow your mind.

I ENJOY being healthy.
I put so much effort into going to the gym, into making healthy decisions and into loving myself the way I am, it just makes sense to put good quality food into my system. I do miss the junk too. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think a huge plate of pasta sounded wonderful. But I also think that some zucchini noodles or spaghetti squash with pasta sauce would be WONDERFUL. Wh30 has taught me that there are some great ways to eat delicious foods, and great flavors that can still be obtained with healthy options.

Even YOU can inspire people.
Yes, you have to say that in Smokey the Bear's voice. But in all seriousness, I had no idea that people were paying attention. I think we all forget what kind of reach we have to the people around us. I have had multiple people contact me and tell me about how they are deciding to make healthy changes in their lives, or that they want to get started exercising, or that they went for a run, because they saw one of my posts. I am BEYOND honored to have been able to inspire those around me because I am constantly inspired by those around me. You all have heard me talk about my online health group and they are always posting about their struggles, their wins, and their inspiration. It's truly incredible, guys. You all are encouraging this process for me, for your friends, for your neighbors, even for strangers.


NOW WHAT?!

The 30 days are all done on Sunday! Everyone keeps asking me, "What are you going to have? What will you eat?! Are you going to keep eating like that?" and here is my basic response...

I'm going to have a PB&J sandwich. Why? Because it has sounded good EVERY SINGLE DAY. Also because I look at a sign that says "Rock your PBJ" so I think the company is brainwashing me... and it's working. It's going to be magnificent. However, my first day off of Wh30 is Super Bowl Sunday... I'll have to be careful so it does not become Super Bowel Sunday... (See what I did there?)

They warn you about getting off of Wh30, because your body isn't used to processing those foods any more. It's very easy to get sick on your first couple days back when it comes to reintegrating things. My plan is to go mostly Paleo after having a few snacks that have been banned for a while. (However, I do plan on keeping eggs and coffee in my diet).


Basically, this was hard. It's never going to be easy when it comes to being healthy because, unfortunately, we live in a world where cheap and convenient rule. Thankfully, by doing the Wh30, I learned so much about good nutrition, healthy relationships with food, and overall health. It is so worth the extra effort and I can't wait to see what some of these new changes do over a longer period of time.

Like they say in the book that inspired the Wh30, It Starts With Food...

So... Start.

I'd love to take the easy way out, but unfortunately I'm an addict.

You know those days that you want to sick on the couch and veg? Well, I've been having a lot of those lately. The reasons vary but the outcome feels the same. I get home from work, sit my booty on the couch and I mope. Sometimes, I grab a blanket and nap for a bit; sometimes, I click on Netflix; sometimes, I just sit there and think (which is EXTREMELY dangerous). Most days, I have about a 40 minute window in this vegetable stage before it sinks in too deeply and all of my productivity is gone.

Thankfully, I've found something that keeps me from hitting the dreary, Oregonian comastose state: The Gym.

If you've been keeping up with my blog, you might know my background when it comes to my body image stuff. I had always considered myself athletic. Sure, I didn't work out frequently in college, but I played sports growing up and I wasn't some weak, little flower that couldn't carry my own boxes while moving (which I did frequently). In reality, I was kidding myself. I was NOT athletic, I was lazy and in denial. I needed a jolt to get me back to my actual athletic self.

Fast forward to Spring of 2014. At the time, I had a boyfriend who enjoyed working out more than anything else in the world, and he taught me a TON about taking care of myself. He never pressured me to change how I looked but I would be lying if I said that my inital workout kick didn't have anything to do with his self-proclaimed passion. He looked like a statue of a greek god and let's just say that I was a little softer than marble. He had no issue with my bodily composition but I did.  When you're surrounded by a buff-macho-man influence, you become even more aware of the fact that you're the girl who didn't quality as skinny but wasn't fat either. As one of my friends recently pointed out, I wasn't fat, I was thick. BUT I ALWAYS FELT FAT. I have had body image issues for a very long time and for the first few months, I was ready to give up every single day. As I've talked about in prior posts, I had tried to lose weight in very unhealthy ways in the past. In my post Learning to Love this Rockin' Bod, I wrote,

I was always so angry that I let my weight determine my self worth, so I started thinking about how I can make the positive changes in my life to not only get healthier physically, but to also get happier with my body from the mental perspective. Throughout this discovery, I still have LOTS of days where I feel defeated. I get really down on myself because, like I said, I'm used to the instant results of unhealthy weight loss. On those days, I make myself find at least two things in the mirror that I like/see improvement. As silly as that sounds, it gets me back to remembering that I am getting stronger.

I'd have to drag myself to the gym, but I knew I was making a good change. I'd literally be whining to myself, shoes on, dressed and laying on the floor, saying, "I don't wannnnaaaaa!" But the little diva voice in my head said, "Actually Bitch, you do!"

Then, after a few months of not seeing any changes, of half-assing it at the gym, of hating the commitment it took, I saw a little change in the mirror. "Hey, is that a muscle?! Oh my gosh, I think I see a muscle!!" Sure it still had a thick layer of fat over the top, but my flicker of hope turned to a little tiny flame. I started wanting to go to the gym, you know why? Because I was starting to get stronger.

Fast forward even farther, the gym was my therapy in a time where all I wanted to do was mope. I cried on the treadmill. I grunted through the free weights. I got angry on the Lat Pull. And most importantly, I laughed in Zumba. I found out that the endorphins I released in my workouts not only distracted me from my moping, but it truly helped me be a happier person during one of the saddest times of my life. It pushed me to a new level of fitness, too. I have now become the gym junkie who feels so guilty when skipping the gym. I go 4-6 days a week instead of 2-3. I get teased at work for having Zumba on one day, spin on another, yoga on Sundays and weights thrown in there when I'm feeling up to it. It's the best thing that could ever warrant mockery.

I also realized that fitness is benefitting EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE. I've made friends in my exercise classes. I want to fuel my body with good food. I want to build my muscle. I want to challenge myself with a Tough Mudder (coming in June thanks to a kick-ass group of people from an online fitness community I was introduced to after writing my first body-conscious post). I've gained a confidence I've never had in regards to my physical appearance, and I am SO MUCH MORE LOVING TO MY BODY. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle with loving myself on occasion (not in that way dirty birds!), but in the long run, I remind myself of how far I've come and it fills me with a sense of pride that I'm still getting used to. I have so many more goals to fulfil.

When I started this journey in March, I could have gone back to the old way of doing things. The easy way. The unhealthy way. But this time I didn't. I pushed myself. I continue to push myself. And I'm not done pushing myself. Hopefully, I never will be.

Because now I'm addicted... and I don't want to go to rehab.

This isn't a speed bump, this is freakin' Everest.

I have some seriously amazing people in my life, and I don't know why, but they have been dealt a ROUGH hand of cards lately. Some of my dearest friends are dealing with depression, heart break, cancer, death of loved ones, divorce, weight issues, hospitalizations and other crazy things.

I HATE seeing the people I love get hurt by the world. I know they hear words of 'support' like "You just need to find some better coping mechanisms," or "God wouldn't give you something you couldn't handle,"or my favorite, "Well, it could be worse."

People try these methods of encouragement and sometimes they help, but sometimes a situation is so devastating that it's hard to come back to "normal". So how can we help as the bystanders of the ones we love so dearly?


Check in with them.
Sometimes, people who are going through these life-changing experiences are afraid or embarrassed to talk about what's going on. It's our job as friends/family/partners to be the one to see how they're doing. Also, with a big life change, many people could be asking about things so the person could lose track of who they've told what. Just a little text/snapchat/phone call could make the world of difference.


Research what they are going through.
I recently had a friend who was hospitalized for a pretty serious condition. When I learned what it was called, I took things into my own hands and looked it up so that he wouldn't have to explain it all, like I'm sure he'd done a bajillion times. Once I knew what was going on, I was able to be there as a friend when I visited instead of giving him the grill as to what had happened.

In another case, I have a very, very dear person in my life that is suffering through a strong bout of depression. Depression is one of the most crippling things to watch as an un-involved party. There's very little you can do to help, and in this case, it's from afar. In this situation, my research led me, basically, to the first recommendation on this list. I've vowed to call this person at least once a week to check in and to listen which brings me to the next tip.


Be there. Even if it's not in person.
Let them rant, let them scream, let them cry for 10 minutes on the phone without saying a word while you whisper, "You're going to make it through this." The presence of another person that cares about you can be one of the most healing feelings, in my personal opinion. When I was going through some rough stuff recently, having someone there to hug me and pat my back while I whined and unearthed my true feelings helped me immensely in my coping.


Ask them how you can help.
Maybe the person is not a hugger. Maybe the person needs someone to watch her kids while she takes a walk by herself. Maybe the person is ill enough to the point that they cannot get up to cook a healthy meal. Maybe they need a shoulder to cry on. Whatever they need, you need to volunteer yourself as a helper. A lot of times, people will avoid asking for help so see if you can read into it if they say "No, I'm fine... Thanks though!" Obviously, I'm not telling you to force your way into their business, but sometimes stepping in wherever you see an opportunity is a great way to volunteer help that they may not know they needed.


Most importantly, PRAY for them.
Whether you pray to God, Buddha, or a rock, send good vibes out into the universe for healing. I know in my personal life, I find myself so panicked and not knowing where to go in situations that I cannot control. One of my favorite bible verses of all times , and one of the only ones I actually have memorized, is Jeremiah 29:11.

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

This verse always gives me a sense of strength that could only be described as divine. I know that whatever challenges I am facing are teaching moments. Yes they hurt, they're scary and sometimes you really shake your head as His "sense of humor", but the goal in the long run is betterment and hope.


Like I said, It's horrible watching our favorite people go through hard times, but the best thing we can do is be a network of support. As one of my friends said recently, "We just have to love them hard."

Encourage strength and support, because this isn't the end. There's no "end" in sight.

How can I take "ME TIME" without being Lazy?!

I think I love being lazy. Yet I totally hate being lazy. It's a very complicated relationship.

One part of me screams, "Netflix, gurrrllll. Get under that comforter and watch 'House' ALL DAY LONG!"

The other side of me says, "Um, have you looked at the time yet?! You've been sitting here for two hours. Do you know how clean your house could be in two hours?! Do you know how many calories you could have burned??!!"

Yesterday, I was totally taken over by the lazy bug. Mason was visiting and after two days of constantly going from one place to the next and staying up late, we ended up vegging out all day long. The sun was finally coming out and a few hours by the pool were just what we needed, followed up by watching a movie and making a batch of homemade lime-aid. So after dropping Mason back at the station - following a day of extreme laziness- what did I do?

I watched four hours of television.

Seems like a great idea right?! Well, I have this disease that I like to call lazy-guilt. I have been conditioned to think that I need to be busy. It's an epidemic that our generation has created and I have fallen victim. I have the delusional idea that I need to constantly be doing something productive.

But the thing that I need to remember is that it's okay to rest. It's okay to take a break. It's okay to binge watch the last month's worth of episodes of "Once Upon a Time," as long as you don't make it a regular habit. Our bodies, and brains, physically need some time to catch up with the busy lives we lead, and sometimes a day of relaxation is what it takes. HOWEVER, you cannot get addicted to the nothingness that is so relaxing. How can you find a balance between re-setting and laziness? 

1) Set yourself a limit. By setting a limit -whether it's time, number of episodes, etc- you will have a tangible boundary to maintain.
2) Find little tasks to do in the middle of relaxing. Fold Laundry, pick up your room while your laptop is buffering. Do 20 jumping jacks on each commercial break. Whatever you do, set yourself up for some little victories!
3) Use relaxation as a reward! Knock those chores out of the park before you curl up into your cocoon of down-comforter goodness. If you do this, you won't spend your time stressing over what all you SHOULD be doing while you're catching up on old One Tree Hill episodes that you've already seen five times.


It's a constant battle of wanting to take care of myself, but still fulfilling the tasks that need to be done and I can do both as long as there's a balance. Take care of YOU so that your stuff can get done eventually.



Don't forget to follow "No End In Sight"!

DO YOU HAVE ANY TOPICS THAT NEED A POSITIVE BOOST?! Shoot me a message and we can add some positivity to your daily life too!!!

Learning to Love this Rockin' Bod.

I'm going to be up front and honest with you. This is a heavier blog post. 

I have a HARD time talking positively about my body. 

I have been "on a diet" pretty much as long as I can remember. I've tried Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Working out 5 days a week, tracking calories. supplements, EVERYTHING. I've tried unhealthy methods of losing weight. It's a battle I face every day. 

Thankfully, I've always had a great support team. You're always your own toughest critic, so having an encouraging friend group around you that supports positive health, all around, is super beneficial. When unhealthy weight-loss decisions were being made on my part, I had a roommate who helped support me so that I could come to her when I felt like I might relapse into those unsafe methods. Nowadays, I have a super rad boyfriend who is studying Exercise and Sports Science. He's extremely passionate about health and I have learned a LOT from his knowledge. 

Now before you start thinking, is she just on this health kick because her boyfriend likes to workout? The answer is HELL NO. He is very very adamant to let me know that he loves me no matter what size I wear (heck, he told me that he loves my curves!) and that if I want to work out, it is MY decision alone. I appreciate him saying it but it's not necessary. The truth is, if I feel better about myself, I am going to be a more confident person. My increase of confidence will DEFINITELY impact our relationship in a positive manor. But like I said, Mason has taught me a lot about how to improve my physical strength and has inspired me to embrace a more active lifestyle. He has also given me some good exercise plans that have been easily maintainable, but still kicks my butt! Maybe in some of my next posts, I'll go over the workouts he has given me!

So here's my working-out background:

• I was an athlete growing up. Don't get me wrong, I was never AMAZING at any of the sports I played, but I worked hard and always saw improvement.
• I took weight training classes in high school, where I was taught correct form and how to use some basic types of exercise equipment.
• In college, I went through a few phases. I went through a running phase (and HATED IT), I went through a step-aerobics phase (LOVED IT), and I went through lots of non-working out phases, with the occasional gym sesh here and there.

I would consider myself an intermediate exerciser. I know how to lift weights (for the most part) and do all the gym-rat stuff, but I have a lot more to learn. I'm getting there though!

But how?! I'll let you know that I'm not really losing weight, but I'm getting stronger. At this point, I want to see differences in my muscular build, not on a scale. So here's what I'm doing to kick it up a notch!

FOOD STUFF:

My calorie intake bases at about 1,200 calories a day, if I do not work out. I use MyFitnessPal as a great calorie and exercise tracker. On days that I do work out, I add however many calories I work out and subtract 100 cals. (Ex. 1,200 calories for the day, burn 300 calories from exercise, so add 200 calories to my daily intake)

EXERCISE STUFF:

I'm getting to the gym anywhere from 3-6 times a week, with my workouts lasting about 50-90 minutes. As most people know, you don't want to do the same workout every single day (for lots of reasons but mostly to leave time for your muscles to build- also because it's a total snooze-fest to do the same thing every flipping day). In the plan that I've chosen, there's a huge variety of muscles through the use of workouts from the "all-supreme-ruler", Pinterest, from Zumba, and from my super hot personal trainer... I mean boyfriend.

Here's how it usually breaks down (any combination of these elements to create 3-6 workouts per week):

Day 1- Body weight workout #1

Day 2- Weight lifting circuit

Day 3- Zumba

Day 4- Rest

Day 5- Zumba

Day 6- Body Weight workout #2

Day 7- Rest

I love the break  down of this plan because it works for my time frame and it keeps the variety so that I don't burn myself out on one type of workout. Also, I'm OBSESSED with my Zumba class, so I try and work that in as much as I can. I'll be working toward my Zumba Instructor Certification here soon so keep an eye out for that!

As of right now, (about 6 weeks in) I've seen a little bit of change in my physical appearance. I'm super self-conscious about doing this, but I feel like it will motivate me more to share my journey!

My roommate and I have been taking a weekly update of photos to see our progress. It keeps us a little more accountable and also gives us a good visual of how we're doing/what parts are changing the most. 

WARNING: I'm not photogenic so please excuse my "interesting" faces. HA

Left Photo: March 30th, 153lbs.; Right Photo: May 6th, 149lbs.

It might not look like much to everyone else, but I'm definitely starting to see differences in my waist and my arms. I get frustrated because I'm not seeing results as quickly as I would like to (this is definitely a mentally-scarred result of my crash diets in the past, where you are given quick results that DO NOT last). I have to remind myself that, while water weight can disappear quickly, it takes a while to build muscles! But hey! Results are results. And DAMMIT I'm going to get STRONG. 

I was always so angry that I let my weight determine my self worth, so I started thinking about how I can make the positive changes in my life to not only get healthier physically, but to also get happier with my body from the mental perspective. Throughout this discovery, I still have LOTS of days where I feel defeated. I get really down on myself because, like I said, I'm used to the instant results of unhealthy weight loss. On those days, I make myself find at least two things in the mirror that I like/see improvement. As silly as that sounds, it gets me back to remembering that I am getting stronger.

Body image is such a struggle and don't even get me started on pop-culture's influence on body-positivity. That's a rant for another day.

But keep in mind, throughout all of our body-related struggles whether you're trying to gain weight, lose weight, gain muscle, lose fat, etc.... you are breathing and you are here in this moment. This is the time to make the positive changes. Remember....

2014 is the year of positive thoughts.

You want to make a change. Start now. Start small or start big but stick with it. It's worth it.

Blogging is hard.

Goodness me.

Here I am thinking that starting up a blog will be super easy... I'll find a cool background, think of some witty blog titles, and BAM! - it's gorgeous.

Well newsflash, that's not how it happens.

I've tried my hand at blogging for work related purposes, but the company had already created the format, the fonts, the graphics and all the pretty stuff, so I just had to look around Pinterest and think of something clever.

But after a whole day of dinking around and probably downloading 5 bajillion viruses labeled "cute free blog templates," I've arrived here with a cookie-cutter layout courtesy of Blogger and a new found appreciation for the super creative computer whiz-kids.

So why start this blog, you ask? Two Reasons.

THE FIRST REASON: Become a more positive person

I've developed a mantra that is annoying the crud out of everyone around me but I don't care because it's really starting to change the way I think about situations. And I'm going to share it with you.

2014 is the year of positive thoughts.

Say it over again and let it sink in.

I've always been a "glass half full" girl so when I found myself newly out of college, in a job I hate and a schedule that doesn't allow much social time, I realized I was becoming a Debbie Downer. I've never been an unhappy person and I was falling down that spiral. I knew I had to make a change and so my mantra came to me in early 2014.

It sounds silly but I keep saying this to myself as a constant reminder of my half-full philosophy and I have found that I am looking more at the positive and less at the negative.

THE SECOND REASON: Changing the way I view the future

I keep thinking about how people talk about situations- Good or Bad. Even when you try and make good out of the bad, there's still a bit of a Debbie-Downer vibe to the comments. As a communications major, I love looking at how people interact. When talking about a situation people tend to say, "I'm closing that chapter of my life and looking forward to the next one." We've been taught to see this as a good end coming of a bad experience, but how can we cut out the bad and just appreciate the good?

Which brings me to my favorite woe-is-me comment... "There's no End in sight!" 

Since 2014 is the year of positive thoughts, I am bound and determined to change the way I look at that common phrase. Instead of seeing it as I'm-buried-alive-and-it's-never-going-to-end, I'm going to look at it as the-good-days-will-keep-on-rolling.

So here's the plan...

I want this blog to be about positive changes. How can I make all aspects of my life better? WHOA, that got ambitious real quick! But seriously, I'm going to focus on physical health, mental health, relational health, and maybe even some fun projects here and there!

Now that you're all as jazzed as I am, let's get this adventure rolling....