Learning to Love this Rockin' Bod.

I'm going to be up front and honest with you. This is a heavier blog post. 

I have a HARD time talking positively about my body. 

I have been "on a diet" pretty much as long as I can remember. I've tried Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Working out 5 days a week, tracking calories. supplements, EVERYTHING. I've tried unhealthy methods of losing weight. It's a battle I face every day. 

Thankfully, I've always had a great support team. You're always your own toughest critic, so having an encouraging friend group around you that supports positive health, all around, is super beneficial. When unhealthy weight-loss decisions were being made on my part, I had a roommate who helped support me so that I could come to her when I felt like I might relapse into those unsafe methods. Nowadays, I have a super rad boyfriend who is studying Exercise and Sports Science. He's extremely passionate about health and I have learned a LOT from his knowledge. 

Now before you start thinking, is she just on this health kick because her boyfriend likes to workout? The answer is HELL NO. He is very very adamant to let me know that he loves me no matter what size I wear (heck, he told me that he loves my curves!) and that if I want to work out, it is MY decision alone. I appreciate him saying it but it's not necessary. The truth is, if I feel better about myself, I am going to be a more confident person. My increase of confidence will DEFINITELY impact our relationship in a positive manor. But like I said, Mason has taught me a lot about how to improve my physical strength and has inspired me to embrace a more active lifestyle. He has also given me some good exercise plans that have been easily maintainable, but still kicks my butt! Maybe in some of my next posts, I'll go over the workouts he has given me!

So here's my working-out background:

• I was an athlete growing up. Don't get me wrong, I was never AMAZING at any of the sports I played, but I worked hard and always saw improvement.
• I took weight training classes in high school, where I was taught correct form and how to use some basic types of exercise equipment.
• In college, I went through a few phases. I went through a running phase (and HATED IT), I went through a step-aerobics phase (LOVED IT), and I went through lots of non-working out phases, with the occasional gym sesh here and there.

I would consider myself an intermediate exerciser. I know how to lift weights (for the most part) and do all the gym-rat stuff, but I have a lot more to learn. I'm getting there though!

But how?! I'll let you know that I'm not really losing weight, but I'm getting stronger. At this point, I want to see differences in my muscular build, not on a scale. So here's what I'm doing to kick it up a notch!

FOOD STUFF:

My calorie intake bases at about 1,200 calories a day, if I do not work out. I use MyFitnessPal as a great calorie and exercise tracker. On days that I do work out, I add however many calories I work out and subtract 100 cals. (Ex. 1,200 calories for the day, burn 300 calories from exercise, so add 200 calories to my daily intake)

EXERCISE STUFF:

I'm getting to the gym anywhere from 3-6 times a week, with my workouts lasting about 50-90 minutes. As most people know, you don't want to do the same workout every single day (for lots of reasons but mostly to leave time for your muscles to build- also because it's a total snooze-fest to do the same thing every flipping day). In the plan that I've chosen, there's a huge variety of muscles through the use of workouts from the "all-supreme-ruler", Pinterest, from Zumba, and from my super hot personal trainer... I mean boyfriend.

Here's how it usually breaks down (any combination of these elements to create 3-6 workouts per week):

Day 1- Body weight workout #1

Day 2- Weight lifting circuit

Day 3- Zumba

Day 4- Rest

Day 5- Zumba

Day 6- Body Weight workout #2

Day 7- Rest

I love the break  down of this plan because it works for my time frame and it keeps the variety so that I don't burn myself out on one type of workout. Also, I'm OBSESSED with my Zumba class, so I try and work that in as much as I can. I'll be working toward my Zumba Instructor Certification here soon so keep an eye out for that!

As of right now, (about 6 weeks in) I've seen a little bit of change in my physical appearance. I'm super self-conscious about doing this, but I feel like it will motivate me more to share my journey!

My roommate and I have been taking a weekly update of photos to see our progress. It keeps us a little more accountable and also gives us a good visual of how we're doing/what parts are changing the most. 

WARNING: I'm not photogenic so please excuse my "interesting" faces. HA

Left Photo: March 30th, 153lbs.; Right Photo: May 6th, 149lbs.

It might not look like much to everyone else, but I'm definitely starting to see differences in my waist and my arms. I get frustrated because I'm not seeing results as quickly as I would like to (this is definitely a mentally-scarred result of my crash diets in the past, where you are given quick results that DO NOT last). I have to remind myself that, while water weight can disappear quickly, it takes a while to build muscles! But hey! Results are results. And DAMMIT I'm going to get STRONG. 

I was always so angry that I let my weight determine my self worth, so I started thinking about how I can make the positive changes in my life to not only get healthier physically, but to also get happier with my body from the mental perspective. Throughout this discovery, I still have LOTS of days where I feel defeated. I get really down on myself because, like I said, I'm used to the instant results of unhealthy weight loss. On those days, I make myself find at least two things in the mirror that I like/see improvement. As silly as that sounds, it gets me back to remembering that I am getting stronger.

Body image is such a struggle and don't even get me started on pop-culture's influence on body-positivity. That's a rant for another day.

But keep in mind, throughout all of our body-related struggles whether you're trying to gain weight, lose weight, gain muscle, lose fat, etc.... you are breathing and you are here in this moment. This is the time to make the positive changes. Remember....

2014 is the year of positive thoughts.

You want to make a change. Start now. Start small or start big but stick with it. It's worth it.