Today is a pretty great day, you know why? Because it was supposed to rain all day and now it's going to be sunny and 68 degrees. Also, it's Mason and my 6 month anniversary. Go ahead, you can judge me for being excited about that (Mason still gives me a hard time that I get excited over those things), but I'm genuinely pretty stoked. I could spend this blog post telling the world how great he is and how I'm a better person with him, blah blah blah, but I'm not going to bore you all with the mushy stuff. Instead I want to talk about how we make this thing work with 80 miles in between us.
Awww how cute are we?!
So, you're probably like, PSH 80 miles?! No problem. That's only an hour and a half drive! You can't even call it a long-distance relationship because it's not a long distance! That's not even hard at all. If that's the case, I guess you can stop reading here because for us, it has not been easy.
In the grand scheme of things, yes, it is easy when you compare it to relationships that span across the country or military couples who rarely get to SPEAK to their significant others, let alone see them. I know that in the big-picture world, we do have it easy but it started off pretty difficult for us.
When Mason and I started dating, I was oftentimes working seven days, pushing 70 hours each week. Getting to see each other every weekend just was NOT possible, but it was okay because we were newly into the relationship and it was still in the "No, I miss YOU more" stage. (Just kidding we were never that bad... I hope.) Every moment we got to spend together was short but cherished. I'd get into Corvallis at 7pm and leave at 9am the next day. It was exhausting, but like I said, worth it.
One thing that we had a difficult time with in that stage was our lack of everyday activities together. We didn't get a chance to binge-watch Netflix, or go grocery shopping, or hang out on the couch and just talk. Sure, we Skyped frequently, and texted/talked on the phone, but we could not wait to finally get the chance to "do life" together.
Thankfully, that stage in our relationship was able to come to a conclusion when I took my new job. I was finally able to work a normal human schedule of 40 hours/5 days a week. This meant we were going to experience something new..... WEEKENDS! The chance to actually spend more than 15 hours together was such an incredibly amazing thought and we have been lucky enough to utilize those weekends in the last three months. We get Friday night, all the way through Sunday night, and sometimes even Monday morning.
So I've had friends ask me, "How do you keep things going so well when you only get to see each other every other weekend?" Usually my response is fairly unexciting, but here is my guide to surviving an "any distance" relationship.
1) Find a time during the week to Skype. Seriously, this saves us because there's only so much that you can say over the phone or through a text. It also helps because if you're anything like me, you think your partner is pretty cute so seeing his/her face instantly makes you smile. (Insert corny eye roll here.)
2) Tell your partner when you miss him/her. This is something I fully believe in, but you have to mean it. But Sarah, of course I miss my partner.. we're in a relationship and I don't get to see him/her! I know this one seems obvious, but hearing it is one of the most comforting things.
3) Tell each other when you're grumpy. I'm always the one who does this because I know I get snappy or maybe sometimes I just want time without my phone. If you give your partner a heads up, he or she is less likely to take things personally if you accidentally snap at them. But don't snap at them. That's dangerous.
4) Understand that your partner has a life without you. And be okay with that. Distance relationships are not for the insecure. Obviously, you are not able to do everything together (but seriously, you don't want to do everything together even when you're dating in the same town!), so know that the one you love is going to have adventures without you. Sometimes this one is really hard for me. I see Mason doing the fun things that accompany living in a college town, and I get jealous. Not because he's doing things with other people, but because other people get to do things with him. That is one of those times where I have to step back and be glad though that he is out there making great college memories. I'm happy he's having fun.
5) Talk WITH each other, not AT each other. Being in a healthy relationship, whether you live 2,000 miles away or in the same house, requires the ability to communicate. The only way that a healthy relationship will work is if you're able to tell your partner what you want, what you don't want, what you like, what you don't like, etc. If you and your significant other can be good listeners and good talkers, you'll avoid a lot of relational issues.
THIS IS MY FAVORITE TIP
6) You can still date even if you're long distance!!! HUH? Yes, you read that correctly. Mason and I still "date". We Skype while making dinner. We watch the same movie at the same time on Netflix (which takes some patience to match up what parts you're at at the same time). It's fun and it feels like we're doing things at the same time, in the same place. However, WARNING: Watching movies together on Netflix kinda makes you want to cuddle but that's the only downside.
It's not easy to be in a relationship of any kind and Lord knows that we've already been through a lot. But if it's right, then it's worth it and you'll find a way to make it work.
Do any of you have any good relationship tips? My friend Craig and his partner Tayler, with a distance of MUCH greater than 80 miles, just recently blogged about their distance experience. They conquer the issues of asking for attention, being patient, and communication differences between personality types! They totally inspired this blog so THANKS CRAIG AND TAYLER! Check out their blog HERE.
Thanks for sticking with me, positive peeps. May your day be blessed!
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