The three ways Instant Gratification ruins our lives and how we can stop it.

We live in a world of instant gratification. It's surrounding us.

There are drive-thru restaurants, coffee shops, liquor stores, banks, and equipment repair stations. You drive up, place your order, and within 5-15 minutes, you have your product. Instantly, your needs are met. We have immediate access to technology. We have internet at our fingertips, almost everywhere we go. You can pull up a youtube video on the train to work, or stream a movie when your child is misbehaving at the doctor's office. We have access to communication that lets us interact with people all over the world… for free… whenever we want. Facebook, Skype, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram. I have two separate friends who met the loves of their lives on Instagram. In DIFFERENT COUNTRIES. Crazy? Absolutely! Incredible? You're darn right. Romantic? Ummm, duh.

The point is, it's all immediate. Aside from waiting to meet your soul mate as they travel around the globe, we have access to a world that is right under our noses. Which can be a beautiful thing. Parents can meet their newborn children while serving their country in foreign wars. A post on twitter can help Mark Ruffalo find his cell phone in NYC within 20 minutes of losing it. Friendships can be created with people you never would have met in day to day life.

However, there is a flip side to a world of instant gratification. We get greedy. We get impatient. We get irritated quickly. I find myself regularly sighing with malcontent when my Pandora station takes forever to load the next song. I get annoyed when someone doesn't text me back quickly. I get frustrated when my GoogleMaps directs me to the wrong location. "No Siri! I do not want to be at McDonald's in China! I'm in Portland! UGH!"

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that despite the convenience, Instant Gratification is ruining my life, and this is how:

1. My Health Life.
How many Pinterest pins start with, lose 10 pounds in ten days? How many infomercials have ads for supplements that will help you "get rid of that problem area in two weeks or less!"? There are wraps, pills, shakes and even cookies to help you hit your goal weight. These 'Get Skinny Quick' diets are ruining our bodies. They are denying the nutrition we need to survive. They are creating an unhealthy lifestyle where our bodies can fluctuate so drastically, which takes it's toll. It's also creating a downward-spiraling body image issue. If you are unsuccessful at losing that ten pounds in ten days, are you more likely to jump on a treadmill to work even harder or are you likely to binge that pint of leftover ice cream in your freezer? Because we expect the immediate change we're accustomed to, giving up happens quite frequently. If we ARE successful with these schemes, they don't last. Unfortunately, the real way to make the fix is the hard way, the drawn out way, but the successful way; making the healthy life choices of clean eating and exercise.

2. My Dating Life.
Dating is not dead, it has just morphed into this ugly monster of instant gratification. You meet at a party, this cute guy gets your number, he texts you an invite to come over and watch a movie, you make out or whatever it may be, you leave, you don't get a text until next time he wants to "watch a movie." There is even a term for this type of hookup.... Netflix and Chill. (Barf. Why ruin the sanctity of Netflix?!) What happened to putting time into getting to know someone? What happened to grabbing coffee or dinner and learning what her favorite movie is, or her favorite author? Hook-up culture is something that is more common than dating these days. I'm not saying that there isn't a time and place for this, because there definitely can be, but I don't feel like it should be the norm. Our culture of instant gratification is to blame for that. Be patient. Get to know people. Date, like a real date. Put in the effort. Please.

3. My Concept of Time.
When we are immediately granted our needs, life moves at an increasingly fast pace. Every iPhone update includes, "Faster This" and "Streamlined That." Therefore when something takes two minutes to load instead of 12 seconds, we flip out. We get frustrated. We complain. When someone takes an hour to text you back, we take it personally. We get frustrated. We complain. Our time consciousness is off because we are so used to getting things right away. It's the ultimate first world problem. We lose the gratitude for all that we have access to and get angry over the little time inconveniences.


So yes, instant gratification is ruining my life but I have the power to stop that. I have the power to be patient, to put in effort, to have grace, to have compassion, to get to know people, to get to know myself. I will not expect things. I will live in the moment. And I will remind myself these things when I'm frustrated at Netflix, or at someone who cancels plans last minute.

I will be gratuitous, even if it doesn't come instantaneously.

The Power of Fear

Fear.

We've all been scared.

The things differ; spiders, death, heights, public speaking. You name it, someone is scared of it. There is even a fear of blushing (it's called Ereuthrophobia, in case you were wondering). No matter who you are, something scares you.

Fear is asking your crush on a date.
Fear is quitting your job.
Fear is hearing your doctor tell you that you and your husband cannot have children.
Fear is hearing that you are pregnant.
Fear is depression.
Fear is thinking you'll be alone forever.
Fear is watching your parent go through chemo.
Fear is attending your best friend's funeral.
Fear is getting dumped.
Fear is a $1200 repair bill for your car when you barely have enough money to cover rent.

People have fear in abundance. We live in a culture where terrorist organizations prey on it. Politicians fuel it. Self-help authors capitalize on it. We live in a world where fear is not only something that exists, but something that is a given. It's not if you are afraid, but what you are afraid of.

We are all scared of something. Regardless of what spooks you, fear is a powerful emotion; one that can absolutely cripple your heart and soul. It's an emotion that causes doubt, anxiousness, indecision, conflict, failure, judgment. The power can paralyze. It can weigh you down. It can break loved ones away. But fear is also something that can be harnessed.

I currently have some things in my life that I am afraid of, specifically the fear of failure and the fear of the unknown. The great, wide abyss that is my future terrifies me. I could waste away, waiting for the right decision to fall on my head like an Acme Anvil; I could flip through plan after plan without taking the first leap of faith; I could sit in terror that I will die, poor and alone. Sure, it's dramatic, but it's real and it's really powerful.

OR…

I could use this fear to help determine the realms that scare me. I can introspectively look at the ways I can conquer this fear. I can lean on the support of my nearest and dearest. I can take the first step, knowing that the powerful beast I call self doubt is the biggest competitor against a life of confidence and resilience. I can face those fears, like Harry Potter faces the boggart. I can trust myself, my higher power and basic science that this fear won't scare me to literal death. Fear is powerful, but it teaches you. It teaches you how to be strong, to learn from yourself, and to survive.

So, like any power, you must decide… will the power of fear be used to better you or to destroy you?

Uh Oh... Your Humanness is showing.

I have this delusional idea that I am not human.

I’m not talking like Alien, Mutant, Wizard, etc. I’m talking about a perfect human. The one who does not make mistakes. The one who always has her ISH together. Believe it or not, I am not that special, crazy, awesome, perfect human, despite the fact that I hold myself to that standard.

The other day, I was sitting at brunch with a group of my favorite people, talking to a friend who had left her keys at my house the night before. She turned to me and asked for her keys (which I was supposed to bring). I froze. I think my jaw literally dropped. My heart stopped... and then proceeded to speed up ridiculously fast. My palms got sweaty. I began apologizing incessantly. I had forgotten her keys and we were a half an hour away from my apartment. How could I have done something so stupid?! My mind started to freak out; You're a horrible friend; You literally had one thing to remember; You drove all the way out here to bring her the keys. It kept going in my head, criticizing my forgetfulness, but let’s pause for some back story…

You see, I suffer from the desire to appear perfect. I don’t necessarily want to BE perfect (because let’s be honest, that’s impossible and my bedroom will always be an explosion of chaos), but I want others to think I am as close as possible. I would blame social media but it started long before my addiction to Facebook, Instagram and Blogger. In high school, I thoroughly enjoyed being the goody two shoes, the Susie-High-School, and the student body leader. I enjoyed the challenge. My ENFJ personality type thrived on human interaction and helping others, and soon developed into the aspiration of being a role model. You might be thinking, it’s not a bad thing to want to be a good influence, and you’d be right, however, the desire to want to be a ‘perfect role model’ can be an unrealistic expectation to set upon someone, especially yourself!

My idea of perfection wasn’t in straight A’s, or in my appearance or by having a super hot boyfriend, but in the way I helped people. I wanted to be the perfect helper. So I tried to be that perfect helper. I offered to help friends move. I took care of all the girls whose hearts had been broken. I picked up the drunk party-goers from the bar at 2:30am. I gave advice to the friend-zoned guy on the bus. I offered hugs to anyone who needed them. I did these things because I genuinely wanted to help and wanted to give love to those around me. But somehow in the midst of caring for all of my surrounding humans, I felt the pressure rise and lead by example without taking care of myself. I gave help but refused to take help. I wanted to be the strong, independent woman, or human in general, that I was encouraging everyone else to be. I started holding myself to an unrealistic standard of strength and independence.

Hence my need for ‘perfection’.

Now, let’s come back to the brunch story.

As my internal insult attack streamed and my verbal apology mutterings continued, one of the guys at our table turned to me and said something that totally shook me.

"Uh oh... Your humanness is showing." The sarcasm was thick with this one, but the message was loud and clear.

The mental self-attack stopped right away. My mind clicked, almost audibly. Um hello, perspective. Newsflash sweetheart, you’re human. You’re not perfect.

Why do we do this to ourselves?! My instant reaction to belittle myself for a simple honest mistake was something familiar to me. What wasn't normal was the reality check of a simple sarcastic comment.

This little epiphany has been following me around like the little voice in the back of my head…which got me thinking… and that is always a dangerous thing.

We are humans. We forget the car keys. We say the wrong things. We accidentally cuss in front of a child. We make questionable life decisions. We make straight-up BAD life decisions. We let our humanness show. The beauty is that we are all human. Unless you’re incredibly original and off-the-wall, the majority of humans around you have made a similar mistake, if not the same exact one. Most people wouldn’t hold you to a perfect standard, so why do it to yourself?!

So in the midst of our humanness, cut yourself some slack. Shake it off cowgirl. Rub some dirt on it and move on because Hell hasn’t frozen over. The world is still turning.

Sometimes, we just need new eyes to realize that an honest mistake is not the end all be all. Mistakes happen, but you’ve got this. Keep on humaning, people. You’re doing great and don’t you forget it!

Why it kills me to wait for your text.

I sit here looking at my phone every ten minutes. More like every ten seconds. I think to myself, "Maybe my phone accidentally got turned to vibrate. Maybe I just didn't hear the buzz of my text tone. Maybe I just didn't see my phone light up. Oh... It's on full volume. That light was from Instagram."

I have become that girl. The one who is waiting for your text. I have become my countless number of girlfriends whom I have lectured so many times. I'd say to them, "who cares if he texts you, you're bad ass with or without him," or "don't worry, I'm sure he is just trying not to seem clingy." They'd give me ten thousand reasons why he hadn't texted them. I would find some awesomely empowering Pinterest photo with a beautiful back drop and a cute handwritten font that would tell my friend that patience is important, blah, blah, blah.

So I tried doing all of those things to myself. I found a solid Instagram photo. I talked about it all day and got opinions from way too many people, all of which I respect, none of which I listened to. The opinions all went one of two very distinct and very opposite directions; some said that I should totally text him so he knows I'm interested, and the others told me to chill out and wait for him to make the next move. Either way, we're playing into this dating game.

The dating game is a tricky topic. I'm not talking about the 60's TV show where you get to pick a secret contestant based on his silly answers. I'm talking about the world of communication, of asking each other out, of trying to be just interested enough to keep them around, yet not too interested to seem obsessed. Games involve strategy, skill and motivation. All things that no one wants to hear about when dating is involved. A skillful dater sounds like someone who is afraid of commitment; you get the prize and then run to the next competition. A strategic dater sounds like someone who plays all the ladies; he is the ultimate player. A motivated dater sounds like a horny dude, trying to get some action. Regardless of which type of competitor is involved in your game, the point is that you're playing for individual trophies, when in reality, you want your team to win.

So as I sit here, wondering if he's playing some game, keeping myself distracted by building bookshelves and watching my roommate do the 'whip/nae nae' dance thing that I don't even understand, I will take a step back. I'll listen to the advice that I have given so many of my friends...

His loss if he's not interested. Awesomely exciting if he is. Regardless of whether I hear from him or I don't, it is not a direct reflection of me, or how I conducted myself when we hung out. I am funny, I am cool, I am smart, I am not reliant on the little buzz of a cell phone and I do not need any validation from anyone other than the voice inside my head. I am better than that; better than worrying about if you're interested.

Now time to put the phone away and go back to life.

I don't miss you, I miss SOMEONE.

I'm okay being single. I don't want to be single forever, but for now I do NOT mind it. I've done some soul searching (insert deep philosophical background music). It had been a while since I had been solo and a lot has changed in my life since last time I was looking for love in all the wrong places.

If you take romantic relationships out of the picture, I have gone through five jobs, three apartments and a few friendships in the last year and a half. (That last sentence makes me look like a shit show, and let's be real, I kind of was... in the most controlled way possible.) I think that constitutes a bit of change. Take out relationship drama and you find a wide-eyed girl who moved her country roots to a big city. I've finally landed a job with an incredible company and I have coworkers that have become "killer friends"... you see what I did there?! That's a LOT of change. Awesome change.

Despite the change in the form of a promotion, an awesome apartment with a great roommate, and the best friends a girl could ask for, I find myself missing my "girlfriend mode." What do I mean? Well, it's pretty simple. I miss being a girlfriend, and that means I miss having a boyfriend. Do I miss the tool I dated? Nope. Not in the slightest. I have learned the hard way that I am so much better off, but it doesn't mean that I LOVE being by myself. Sometimes, I do. A lot of times, I don't.


But here's what I miss.


I miss thinking of fun ways to surprise someone. I miss thinking about how to make their day or cheer them up. I miss thinking about what kind of gifts would make them smile the biggest.

I miss having the best friend who listens and let's you be excited/mad/confused/scared/dorky. Yes, your friends can do this, but there's something comforting about knowing that your significant other will snuggle with you when you're done being a basket case.

I miss date nights. I'm not talking about the "Put your heels on and spend a lot of money on dinner" type of date nights. I'm talking about the "PJ's and takeout with Netflix" date nights. (This one can be altered into a girls night, but usually it involves celebrity gossip, fingernail polish and lots of wine... LOTS of wine). Don't get me wrong, the fancy date nights are very important too. There's something to be said about showing off your arm candy.

I miss the S.... nuggling.

I miss holding hands. When I miss holding hands a lot, I clasp my own hands and pretend to hold my own hand. Just kidding. (You'll never know if I'm actually kidding...)



So yeah... I miss being a girlfriend and I miss the placeholder of a person who is my go-to confidant. But here's the thing: Just because I miss having a person to do all of those things with, it doesn't mean that I'll just start sticking people into the empty space and seeing which random person fits!

I had a friend tell me recently that I shouldn't be looking to date right now, but just look around to have fun. Well, sorry hunny, this isn't college anymore and I am not the type to just fill the blank with some Tom, Dick or Harry. Sure, dating is great. It's fun. It gives you butterflies. But it also takes a LOT of work. It takes emotional investment when done for the right reasons, and let me assure you, I am doing this dating thing for the right reasons. When you invest your heart, you invest a little piece of yourself that is permanently changed. When you start giving all of those parts away to a bunch of different people, you start to lose your identity. You're altering so many of those little pieces, to the point where you are left with random puzzle cutouts that don't fit together. Before you know it, you're too afraid to give those pieces away in fear of an even more mismatched final product, or even worse, you become a person who ALWAYS has to have someone around to make sense of those pieces.

When it comes down to it, I have realized that it's too early for me to give more pieces away to be altered. Again, I am not saying that I miss my old relationship, specifically. I'm thankful for the opportunities I had to give out each and every piece of me, because like I've said in prior posts, it made me who I am today, but I also know that the ones I have left are special. They're precious and fragile, so it's not fair to me, let alone someone else, to give those pieces away at this time.

So no, I don't want to go on a random date to have "a little fun... but not too much fun." I want to let myself fully make peace with the loss of a dear relationship. I want to let the little chunks of Sarah Soul get stronger in their altered identity, and THEN I want to start dating, because, dang it, I rock and someone will be lucky to date me. I make a great girlfriend. I know because I miss that role. 

But until then, I'm going to love being single and re-learn about what a kick-ass human I am.

TRUE LIFE: My Stupid Facebook Addiction

So, I did something stupid. I committed to two weeks without Facebook.

Ever since I got a Facebook my senior year of high school, I am a constant updater, liker, sharer, poster, commenter and everything else Facebook-y. I love it because I stay connected with my family in OH. I learn about current events (or at least the ones that millenials care about, like Beyonce's VMA performance or the death of Robin Williams). I see my friends' kids grow up even when I can't be a constant presence in their lives.


HOWEVER-

I realized recently how dependent I am on a stupid social networking website. I checked it every five minutes, or more. At every stoplight. In between reps at the gym. While I was watching TV. Right when I woke up. The HOUR before I went to sleep. Not until I did a little unexpected life-audit did I realize how frequently I was on FB. Sure, my friends made fun of me for being on it so much but isn't everyone?!

That's when the challenge came to mind: I was going to do a 2 week Facebook cleanse. I had one of my most trustworthy friends log onto my FB and change my password for me. Yes, I could always push the "Forgot my Password" button, but that's cheating and I am NOT a cheater. Especially when my friend is holding me accountable. Heck, I gave it up for Lent in the past and 14 days is a piece of cake compared to 40 right?

Right. And wrong.

It's been good to stay away from FB, especially in a time where I'm feeling slightly alone. Facebook is the ultimate demise for FOMO sufferers like myself (for all of you non-millenials out there, FOMO is an abbreviation for
I gave up Facebook for Lent three years ago. I did NOT realize how much of my life was tied to the site until this weekend, my first FB-free days in quite some time. My Spotify account is linked to it. My coupon apps are linked to it. My Pinterest is linked to it. My Instagram is linked to it. My Bible App is linked to it. My life is tied to Facebook.

So, what good is this little cleanse doing for me after three days?!
Other than me not getting my normal savings at Target and the likes, I am already seeing a difference!

Yes, I'm guilty of filling some of my previously-allocated FB time to Instagram and my Horoscope, but I have already noticed that when I'm watching TV, I'm actually watching the program. At work, I have found other things to fill that "empty" time (Watch TEDtalks. They're magical!). When I am hanging out with friends, I am not constantly on my phone. Yes, I am still texting. I still send stupidly ugly-faced Snapchats. I still play games and look up music videos. Despite my still-technically-infused life, I am not as distracted by Facebook throughout my day.

Facebook is great, and I miss it (yep, that sounds super pathetic as I type it) but I have realized that a balance needs to be created in my life so that I am not as relient on a cyberworld of connection.

ON THE DOWN SIDE. None of you are going to see this for another week and a half! That's okay though, it'll help me see how many of these views are from a constant readership ;)

When a Heart Breaks.

“A broken heart will turn into a stronger one within hope.”― Toba Beta, My Ancestor Was an Ancient Astronaut

Two weeks is still fresh break up, but let me tell you, I have learned more in the last 2 weeks than I have in a long time. Don't worry. I'm not going to get all sad and mopey on this post. Not intentionally at least.

We all will go through a broken heart at some point and it just plain blows. You realize how many little moments remind you of the person you no longer "get" to think about all day, every day. The radio is an evil torture device. Your clothes are reminders of dates or activities. Restaurants are dangerous memory traps.

Despite the pain that some of these things bring, other things can be brought along with them. Sometimes the hurting brings a sense of release, sometimes the hurting brings a sense of strength, and sometimes the hurting brings a chance to let everything go.

This breakup has sucked so majorly. However crappy it is, though, I have learned these key principles of Broken-Heartedness:


I am allowed to be vulnerable.
I hate being vulnerable. Don't get me wrong, I have always been an emotional person, but being vulnerable is a double edged sword when it comes to being loving. I was recently talking to another friend who is going through a recent and rough breakup, and we talked about how sucky it was to be the one to love so fiercely. Loving hard unfortunately means opening ourselves up for a potentially hard fall. As our conversation went on though, we realized that loving deeply is what makes us who we are, and that we receive so much love from those around us BECAUSE we are able to love hard. That vulnerability is our strength and we can't be afraid to let that love be strong and open.

There is some darn good break-up music out there.
I have two really wonderful women in my life who have made some STRONG break-up mixes. There's just something about belting Beyonce as you fly down the freeway on a sunny morning, thinking to yourself, "Heck ya, Beyonce... What goes around DOES come back around!"

Getting hit on is the most empowering, yet heart-wrenching thing to follow a breakup.

Just days after getting a big fat slice of Dumping Pie, I was somehow convinced to go out to a bar where my ex- and I went whenever we decided to actually get off of Netflix. This could have been a dangerous decision (one that I wouldn't recommend unless you are feeling particularly empowered), but thankfully I had some really wonderful women to encourage me to enjoy myself! At this bar, we quickly found the most Bro-tastic guy I have ever seen, and some how, I caught his eye. I have never been so aggressively hit on in my life, and thankfully my sharp-tongued wit was on point, because I was able to hold my own, in my sassy, classy and smart-assy responses. As I got in my car to leave, alone might I add, I thought to myself, "Oh yeah... I still got it!" It felt wrong and uncomfortable and made me miss the 'absentee' so much, but at the same time, I was able to realize that, eventually, I will be okay with (maybe even look forward to!) someone else flirting with me. It will be okay.

People who you wouldn't expect to be there, are there for you.

I am still amazed at how many people continue to check in on me. Not just to get the drama or the he-said-she-said, but people who genuinely care about my well-being. To those friends who have done so and are reading this, I value you more than you will ever know. Thank you for loving me.

Breakups are crappy for everyone.

I wish I could say that this break-up was a clean one, that when we ended things, all communication stopped. Unfortunately that hasn't been the case. In the grand scheme of things, it has been a good break-up, in the sense that we both love each other so much and truly want the other person to be "okay". No matter what side of the break-up you are on, it's hard. If it's not hard, you didn't/don't truly care for that person, and good thing y'all broke up. 

Little tears are better than big breakdowns.

My mom, God bless her, keeps reminding me that a few little tears here and there are okay. They're normal. They keep you from full blown LOSING IT.

Lastly, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, I can be stronger than I realize.
When everyone told me I was being so strong, and that I was handling it so well, I wanted to punch them all in the faces, not because of what they said, but because I didn't feel good. I felt like I was going to throw up every fifteen minutes, and I cried more frequently than that. I felt as weak as a blade of grass. But I realized that they were right. I was being strong. I got out of bed every morning. I slapped a smile on my face... sometimes real, and sometimes about as real as Heidi Montag's third set of boobs. I made sure to eat (most of the time), and I took care of myself. That is how I realized that I was being strong. I wasn't doing it for a show, or to get more people to say that I was "doing so well," but I was doing it to make myself well, to make myself strong. Becoming strong is not revenge, it's resilience.

I'm still learning about this breakup. I'm learning that my perspective changes more than I blink and that I am capable of a LARGE range of emotions. But I'm learning. That's what breakups are for in my opinion, to learn about how you handle crap. To have a broken heart is to work on a gigantic puzzle without all of the pieces. Eventually though, you realize your puzzle is just part of the bigger puzzle, and with even more inspiration and determination, and help from another puzzle master, you make a seriously epic piece of work.

I started with a quote, so I will leave you with one that resonates within me as I write. 2014 is the year of positive thoughts, my dears.

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.” -- (Unknown)

XoXo. 

KEEP GOING: When LIFE hands you lemons, you make a Lemon Meringue Pie.

There was a point this year where I didn't know that lemons could produce anything sweet. They were sour, and made me make a face that semi-resembled this little guy.

(Image from Pinterest)

But way less cute.


Let me tell you, I had plenty of lemons. I hated my job, the weather was (in true Oregon style) dismal, I didn't feel like I had many friends in this town that I had begun to call home, and my support system was scattered all over the country. It's not like anyone was dying or I was out on the streets or anything, but things weren't all unicorns and rainbows.

At that point, my mantra was hard to believe, and even harder to maintain. But there was a saying that my one of my god-awful volleyball coaches from high school always said; "Fake it til you make it." 

SO THAT'S WHAT I DID. Because there is always a reason to keep going. At the time, I wanted to give up and poop out on this new challenge of being a grownup. I somehow managed to push through. How, you may ask?
 
Well here it goes, Sarah's fool-proof reasons why you NEED keep going:

Life gives you seasons.
There is not a person on this earth who is happy all the time. There is not a person on this earth who has not seen a bad-hair day, or a stubbed toe, or felt like they were all alone... literally or figuratively. We all see the sunny days and we all see the gloomy days. To be as cliche as possible, we wouldn't see the good if we didn't have the bad to compare. Now, sometimes there comes a point where you have a hard time remembering the good, but as the great Albus Dumbledore once said, “Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” Gee, that dude is smart...

You are not a starving child in Africa.
And if you are, I apologize that you're seeing this blog instead of some cool and inspiring thing that the internet could provide. My point here is it could be worse. Just because it could be worse, doesn't mean it doesn't suck. When I had to eat pb&j sandwiches and plain spaghetti noodles with butter for a week because my "full time job" couldn't afford me any food, I was pretty bummed. However, I had SOMETHING to eat. I was not starving. Sure, I was hungry and bummed with my lack of options, but I wasn't starving. It could be worse, so take a moment to be thankful for what you have.

Pity Parties are made for cowards.
There is nothing that I hate more than pity parties. You can ask ANY of my closest friends and family members. I do not tolerate a woe-is-me attitude. Sure, we all need to relinquish defeat to our hard times on occasion, but if you get stuck on it, I'm probably going to slap you into reality and out of your whine sesh. While we're sticking with the Dumbledore quotes, let's view my absolute favorite quote by the genius himself; “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” If you are cowardly and obsessing over how sucky your life is, you're going to lead a sucky life. Time to suck it up, put on your big kid panties and make some changes.

Someone is cheering for you.
It might not feel like it but, even if it's just me, SOMEONE out there wants you to succeed. Maybe it's your mom, or your grandpa, or your little brother, or your second grade teacher, or a stranger you met at work. SOMEONE is rooting for you. If you ever need to hear that someone is cheering you on to keep going, let me know. I will be your support system through the hardest of times, because that's what friends are for.

Somewhere out there is an opportunity of a lifetime.
This one takes a lot of faith and even more persistence. Who knows what it is? It could be taking a trip to Haiti to work at an orphanage. It could be mentoring a group of at-risk individuals. It could be taking a job at a company you have always enjoyed but didn't know what kind of opportunity it would lead to (cough... this one is me... cough). Whatever it is, you have to actively search it out. My dad always says that opportunity is about patience and preparation. You have to be actively preparing for something while patiently waiting to see what kind of options are out there. Whatever it is, keep going... You'll get there.


So, yeah... you've got some lemons... But you've got someone cheering you on; that's the sugar. You've got the bravery to not cave in on pity; that's the egg whites. You've got a lifetime of opportunity; that's the butter. You've got perspective and are thankful for what you DO have; that's the crust.

Yeah, you've got lemons, but without the lemons, you could not create such a beautiful and delicious Lemon Merigue pie (which is a metaphor for life, obviously...).

Because 2014 is the year of positive thoughts, I have been trying to maintain an opimistic outlook throughout the last 7 months, which was a lot easier at times than at others. Many times, I had to fake positivity, only to cry in the shower when I got home. But with all of these steps, I was led to an incredible job, a great sense of belonging, and a new apartment that is one of the home-iest places I've been in a while.

I am not a sad person. I am happy. I am extroverted. I am giggly and silly and sometimes immature. Lemons cannot, and will not, ruin that.

Remember that cute sour-faced baby? Here's another one, after trying a lemon as well, but an entirely different view on life... and lemons.


(Image from Pinterest)

An open door isn't always the right path.

Firstly, I apologize for my blogging hiatus. No excuses, but to make you jealous, I had a rad camping trip for Memorial Day Weekend so I spent a large majority getting ready for the trip and getting stressed out about getting ready for the trip.

GOOD NEWS. I'm back and bloggy again ;)


Today is a two part blog. First I'm going to whine. Then I'm going to get over it. Ready, go.


WHINER ALERT:

I got the job I was interviewing for (YAY!). 

I turned it down (NOOOOOO!). 

This was a hard decision to make and it involved a whole lot of whining and a crying pity party on my way home from work that day. The position, since a few of you have asked me lately, was with Wilco, a farm and agricultural supply store, as the lead cashier. The company is fantastic and I really enjoyed the interview since I could see how passionate the committee was about their company. When it came down to it, I would have been taking a significant pay decrease by accepting the position, which was something I was NOT expecting. Despite the initial objections I had, I was really really sad to turn down a job that I know I would have enjoyed. Let me clarify, a job I would have enjoyed 5,000 times more than my current position.

Even though I was offered the position, I felt defeated that this opportunity wasn't my escape from a job that does nothing to stimulate my mental potential. I got wrapped up in an "I'm never going to get out of here" mindset and the pity party was pretty pathetic. It took some good friends and a super great boyfriend a few hours to wake me up into the real world and remind me about the ga-jillion possibilities that are still out there.

Like I've said before, it's easy to give up hope, especially when you are trying so hard to change a situation. It's easy to give up hope when your coworkers/supervisors are mean. It's easy to give up hope when you're being treated like crud. But like my dad always says, "Shake it off cowgirl!"

TIME TO GET OVER IT:

What did I do when I found out the job didn't make the cut?! I went to the gym, Zumba'd my heart out, and I applied to about 7 more jobs that next day.

I made a promise to myself that I was not going to let myself get down in the dumps. I wasn't going to take that as a sign that I'm going to be stuck here forever. This was a direct divine message, telling me that however great it would be to get out of where I'm at now, it's not the door I'm intended to open.

Until then, it's time to make my current job teach me something. It's time to give myself something to do, other than blog of course.

I know this blog wasn't exactly pertaining to everyone's lives but if you take anything out of this post, make it this:

Not all offers are meant to be taken. It takes faith and courage to hold yourself to high standards.

Be strong, friends. Make your life worth it.

Inspired by.

Straight up, yo.