Three reasons why I think that God rides a motorcycle.

I'm pretty sure that God rides a motorcycle.

This weekend, I accompanied a friend of mine on a 4-hour motorcycle ride through the beautiful Cascade Mountain Range. If you have never been on a motorcycle before, it's hard to describe the rush of adrenaline that kicks in when you hear the rumble of the motor kicking up. My heart instantly started beating faster with the anticipation of the wind surrounding me. As the passenger,  I climbed awkwardly onto the little back seat and we left the house. I was like a little kid going to Disneyland. My smile was smooshed by the tightness of the helmet, but it was ear to ear nonetheless.

We headed toward our destination, zipping -very responsibly, might I add- through traffic, finally hitting Highway 22 which winds through the Oregon countryside. As I held on (probably too tightly), I was immediately overwhelmed with peace. Despite the fact that we were going sixty miles per hour with nothing but a padded jacket and a helmet separating me from the asphalt, I was washed with a serene calmness. Alone with my thoughts, I realized that God probably rides a motorcycle, inviting us to be the passenger on a windy, but scenic, drive.

1) It can be kind of uncomfortable at first, but you get the hang of it.
It's hard to understand the feeling of a motorcycle until you hop on. The driver can give you all the necessary instructions on how to lean, where to sit, how to hold on, but until you actually make the commitment of saddling up, it's kind of a foreign concept. You hop on the bike and once it starts going, you can't just jump off. This is how I felt when learning about my faith. I had put on my helmet; I was sitting on the back seat, waiting for the Lord to lift the kickstand and take off; I was uncomfortably committed, holding on tightly, not knowing what to expect. But once you start going, it gets easier, more normal, and more comfortable. You learn how to hold on, how to listen for the rhythms of the driver shifting gears, how to sit relatively comfortably on the not-so-comfortable seat. You get the hang of it, but it doesn't come easily immediately.

2) You aren't driving, yet you have the power to crash the bike.
The first and MOST IMPORTANT lesson when getting on the back of the bike is to lean with the driver. In order for the physics of the bike to work, you have to lean where the driver leans. If you do not move with the driver, you have the power to cause a crash. God has a plan for us and He's leaning into His curves, His route, His calculated path, but unfortunately, we have the power to lean away and to crash the bike based on our stupid human decisions. After making it to our destination, my friend and I went to grab some dinner before meeting up with our larger group of friends. We pulled into a parking spot and as I went to get off the bike, my foot got caught. We almost toppled over, but thankfully my ah-mazing driver had solid footing and kept us upright despite my clumsiness. Our Heavenly driver can hold us up too when we falter.

3) You're able to view the world from a whole new perspective.
I have driven Highway 22 countless times, but never had I realized how turquoise the water is in the Santiam River. Never had I realized where the temperature outside changes as you drive into the pass. Never had I realized how easily you could spot bigfoot... Okay maybe I'm kidding on the bigfoot thing, but the point is that without the hindrance of the car walls and windows, I was able to view the beauty surrounding me in a completely different way. When was the last time that you took a second to see things from a new perspective? To take some uninterrupted time to view the beauty the He has created? When God rides his motorcycle with us as His passenger, we don't focus on the road, but on what we can see while He drives.


So yes, I think God rides a motorcycle and He's constantly inviting us to go on a beautifully scenic and awe-inspiring cruise with Him. It takes trust, and practice and courage, but the view is SO worth it.

Grab your helmet and hop on.

10 Reasons why you're torn between Dating and Staying Single.

It's Friday night. You're sitting on the couch with your fuzzy blanket binge watching Netflix, adorned in sweatpants and bits of popcorn that have spilled out of your giant bowl. #NOSHAME. We all do it. But part of you thinks, maybe, just maybe, it would be nice to do this with someone else. Granted, for most people it would take a little while before hitting the comfort-of-tattered-sweatpants stage, but you think, maybe I should put myself back out there. You say to yourself, 'I could actually do my hair, throw on some real people clothes and try to catch me a suitor'! And then you look back into your bowl of popcorn and think... Nahhh, I'm good.

I can't be alone in that thought process. Dating is hard. But sometimes, so is being single. So why do we find ourselves torn between wanting to date and wanting to be single?

1) All your friends are in serious relationships.
You know when you were in middle school and you were learning about peer pressure? Your teacher would say, "Just because you think that all your friends are having sex doesn't mean you need to!" Well, the sex isn't the real peer pressure. They should have warned you about being the only 25 year old single friend at the six weddings you'll attend this summer. Now THAT is peer pressure.

2) I am still working on myself.
Cliche? Yep. True? Double yep! I am finding out what I want my life to look like, and that's a lot easier when it's just me.

3) I want attention...
Don't lie. If you're single, male or female, you love having someone notice you; having someone tell you that you're pretty or handsome; laughing at all the awkward newness of getting to know someone. It's fun! It gives you butterflies. Don't lie, you love it.

4) ... But I'm done with games.
Just because I want attention, doesn't mean I want to get hooked in and then played with those stupid games of who 'doesn't care' the most. Attention is fun, but only when it's genuine, and not given out to everyone like Halloween candy. Flirting is fun, watching you flirt with every single person you see is not fun. When I get back into dating, it will be a games-free zone.

5) I like making decisions based on MY needs. Not OUR needs. (But I will factor someone in when I need to.)
Right now, I'm allowed to be a little selfish. If I want to pick up and move to another city, I can. Because I'm only making decisions for one person instead of for a pair or family.

6) I'm not desperate.
Or I guess I should say, I'm not usually desperate...

7) I am dedicated to building my career.... Even though I am not quite sure what that is yet... 
As of right now, I have the freedom to be flexible in the job field by growing my resume. I can work a LOT. I can change jobs. I can join the circus... okay well I probably won't do that but I COULD. Basically, I'm evaluating my future.

8) I have moments where I ADORE being single...
Last minute change in plans? I don't have to check with anyone. I can binge Fuller House on Netflix for hours without judgement. I can get all dressed up to go out for Happy Hour with my girlfriends. I can flirt with a cute guy at the bar. I can hang out with my guy friends without worrying about someone getting jealous. I can do me and sometimes that's really great!

9) ...But I also look forward to sharing the dumb relationship stuff too.
Like trying out new restaurants on date night. Or holding hands for the first time. Or finding a new show that we are mutually obsessed with. Or meeting your parents for the first time. All the new and fun couple-y activities are awesome and I can't wait to do all the corny stuff when dating becomes a part of my life again.

10) I know what I want in a relationship.
I KNOW I'm not looking for a fling. I know that I want someone who's ambitious and driven. I want someone to take care of me and I want to take care of that special someone. I want my partner to be my best friend and my partner in crime. I want to be goofy and wrestle or dance around the living room. I don't want to waste my time with someone who does not share my core values. I have dated enough to have honed in some big factors of someone to spend time with intimately. It's time to be a bit more serious.

11) My time is valuable.

I'm not about to waste either of our time on something lukewarm. It's not fair to either of us to date, just so we aren't lonely. I want to be excited to go out with you. I want to have butterflies when I think you might kiss me. I don't want to get my hopes up for something that you view as 'casual'. I'm in it for the real deal, not just a free meal.

But when it comes down to it...
I don't want to be alone forever. So one of these days I'll have to date again. For now though, I'll pop that popcorn, flip on Fuller House and enjoy the time with my favorite partner. ME. 

When you ask "What's next?"

"What's Next?"

You whisper under you breath.
Knowing that you would be the only one to hear those two little words.
When you get to a point of exasperated questioning.
You just don't know.
How do I fit?
Where is my path?
You inhale, with the weight of the future on your chest.
You exhale all the stress that led up to it.
It sinks in that you don't know.
You just don't know.
And in that moment, the fear of the unknown cripples you.
Your always-planned-out life is so far from where you thought it would be.
Not in a bad way, just not where you expected.
But you mutter those little words into the sky.

"What's Next?"

The chaos is palpable.
Thoughts bounce from one realm to the next.
You asked it into the unknown.
The words leave your lips and fear starts to bubble.
The anxiety hits.
'I don't know what's next,' you think to yourself.
But then you feel it.
You feel the calm of knowing that you are taken care of.
The peace of not knowing, and being okay with that.
With closed eyes.
Hands open to receive whatever is meant to come your way.
Whatever your higher power, the universe, or the winds of change move into your life.
You are ready to accept it.
Because you asked that little powerful question.

"What's Next?"

The fear is still there. The questions haven't disappeared.
But you know.
Next is unknown.
Next is malleable.
You know that in the moments of uncertainty, Next will show it's face.
It will open it's arms and embrace your discomfort.
It will give you safe refuge.
It might not be easy, but it will be worth it.
You realize that giving yourself up so wholly to the universe creates a vulnerability that you have never known.
A vulnerability that is equally terrifying and empowering.

"What's Next?"

Despite the fear, there is comfort.
Comfort in knowing that your open stance will bring to fruition an adventure like none you have ever experienced.
You breathe again.
Deeper.
Stronger.
More powerful.
The crippling fear turns into an elixir of excitement.
You savor the sweet buzz of what could be.
All because you had the courage to ask yourself.

"What's Next?"

Why my Roommate is the best thing that happened to me in 2015

Let me just start off saying that I have had a LOT of roommates. Seven to be exact. Girls are hard to live with, myself included. It's even harder to be friends with your roommate. When the dishes pile up, you get annoyed, and the last thing you want to do is be besties with the perpetrator.

But when you find a good roommate, you know. When you find a great roommate, people will start questioning your sexuality, and you don't even care because you can't imagine doing stuff without your platonic other half. 

With that bond comes a great year of memories and many reasons why my roommate was the best thing that happened to me in 2015:

The bat-shit-crazy stuff she says.

If I had a dollar for every time I laughed at something crazy my roommate said, I would be a gazillionaire. Whether she's trying to cheer me up, annoy me, or just having a conversation, my roommate says some of the craziest stuff I've ever heard. Some of my faves...
"Awkward... the romantic music is coming on and I'm over here like I just want another hot dog."

"Can you listen to me in the eyes please?"

"Peace out butter scout."

"If I would have stayed home tonight, I just would have eaten jalapeno dip. What?! At least I'm honest..."

Sending the same guys the same questions on our dating apps.

Sitting next to each other swiping guys left and right. I turn to my roomie and ask if this guy is cute, "Oh I totally just matched with him... Let's send the same message to him and see if he notices..." Hysterical laughter ensues.

Sharing a closet.

AKA Me stealing her clothes. Thanks boo for keeping me stylish.

Drunkenly stumbling into her bed because I want to hang out.

Obviously the best and most crucial time to hang out is at 2:30am when our Uber driver drops us back at home. Sure, you might be sleeping, but who cares?! It's hang out time!! And don't lie, you love it. Or at least your snapchats followers do because let's be honest, I'm hilarious.

Debating what to say to the guys we're texting.

"No don't say that, it's too forward." "Oh, Oh, say this..." "Ew, don't text him back."

It's nice to have that sounding board.

Crying together.

Well, mostly, me crying. Because you're kind of heartless sometimes. But you are always there to listen to my dramatic sobs, and I appreciate that a LOT. And you know I always have your back when you break down and let those tears sneak out.

Ridiculous Youtube videos.

... That we watch from separate rooms in our apartment. And then hear the other person laughing, so we run into the room and watch it again. Laughter ensues even harder.

Wrestling with life decisions.

To go back to your ex or not to go back to your ex. (Don't go back, obviously....) To switch jobs or not? To chop off your hair or not? To go to the gym or not? I love that we can always have these conversations, even if we judge the crap out of each other for the outcome. I'll only judge you for a little bit. (Cough, your ex, cough.) It's just because we love each other. 

Literally wrestling.

Yeah, it happens every once in a while. 

The Snapchats. 

Documenting our crazy lives is one of the funniest and most accurate things about our friendship. From throwing gummy bears at me at the grocery store, to trying to catch popcorn and cookies in our mouths from across the room, to taking apple cider vinegar shots, to drunk ramblings; Our snapchat friends are able to see little bits of the chaos we create.

The CAR-aoke sessions.

"Hello.... It's Me.... I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet." We belt that ish at the top of our lungs. We get really into these songs. We dance, and almost run off the road with our dance moves. We lose our voices. All for the sake of a good car-karaoke (or CAR-aoke) sesh and it's always a blast.

Having you become my best friend.

The longer we live together, the crazier our adventures get. The more awesome inside jokes we rack up. The more stupid quotes. The crazier near death experiences we have while you are driving. I have never been besties AND good roommates with anyone and I am so thankful to share our crazy little Portland adventure together. 

I may have been single for 2015, but I had my roommate, and that might even be better.

Follow our adventures on Instagram #emmieandsarahlove or #myroomieismybestie

Why you have to stop telling me I need to find a man.

"I just want you to find a nice man."
"You are too pretty to be single."
"You're just operating a little behind schedule on settling down."
"I bet your anxiety is because you're single."
"I just want you to settle down and start a family!"
"You'll be such a good mom when it's your turn."
"One of these days you'll find a good guy. I know it."


Yes, these are all things I hear on a weekly, if not daily basis.

I'll let you in on a secret.

I am aware of the fact that I am a 24-year-old single woman.
(Big secret right?!)

I know, I just blew your mind. I am constantly reminded of my relationship status. From cheesy online articles. From Pinterest. From Instagram. From my mother. From my coworkers. I am VERY aware of my singleness. As someone in my mid twenties (hold on... I'm having a quarter life crisis moment at that thought...), there is an extreme pressure to settle down and start a family. I should be married and starting my 2.5 children with a dog and a white picket fence by now.

But guess what? I'm not. I'm not criticizing anyone who is on that track, by all means, you are very lucky to be sharing your life with someone (as long as you are happy and healthy), I'm just not there yet. So as you are commenting on and critiquing my singleness, I want to tell you why you need to stop perpetuating the pressure to change my relationship status.


My life is no less exciting because I am single.
I go out with friends still. I continue to go to the movies. Concerts are the bees knees. Restaurants still have great food when you're not in a relationship. Just because I don't have a significant other doesn't mean that my life gets turned down a few notches on the fun dial.

I DO want a relationship.
Believe it or not, I genuinely desire a relationship with someone who is a good match for me. I can't wait to feel those butterflies, to share kisses, to slow dance around the living room. I look forward to making memories, sharing life experiences and creating a lasting connection with someone that will (hopefully) stand with me through a lifetime of ups and downs. Because I am so excited for that good match, I won't purposefully date people who I know are not good matches. I'm not going to waste my time on people that are already guaranteed dealbreakers. I am excited to find my future partner. But I'm in no rush so stop making me feel like I should be.

I am cultivating many other relationships, just maybe not romantic ones.
My friend group has had my back. They are constantly challenging me, bettering me, inspiring me, loving me. I am putting the time into relationships, into friendships, and into the people who will be there for me if the next guy who "might be the one" ends up NOT being the one. I am growing my support network and I am being loved by them.

I get to be selfish. I mean ... it's self care....
I bought myself a $40 concert ticket because I knew it would fill my soul. I can spend an hour and a half at the gym. I can go out with my girlfriends without checking in. I can try out new lipstick and hairstyles without wondering if someone else will like it. I can flirt with a guy just for fun to boost my confidence. I can, will, and DO take care of myself.

I AM 24 FREAKING YEARS OLD.
I am not some shriveled up 90 year old woman. I am still young enough that people ask me how long I've been out of high school. My biological clock (hypothetically) still has PLENTY of time. Stop making me feel like I'm past my prime. My prime hasn't even hit yet fools!

And lastly...
I do not need a man to validate my life and lifestyle.
I'm doing pretty darn well in the whole life category. I have a great career. I have a great apartment. I have a great roommate. I have a running car that I love. I am surrounded by a loving support network for those days where my life isn't all rainbows and butterflies. I am active, healthy and incredible happy.

Sure, I'm excited to find a partner, but my life is NOT lacking right now. So stop making me feel like it is.

A Letter to My Future Husband

Dear Hubby,

Can I call you Hubby? Since I don't quite know who you are yet, let's say that I can. At least it beats out other super annoying pet names like pumpkin, or hun, or sweetie pie. (Let's make it clear that if you call me sweetie pie, you will get a 'sweetie pie' to the face. I mean, I'll totally be giggling as I do it, but you will get pied. I will at least let you pick the flavor…)

I have thought about you. I have pictured what our life would look like, I have pictured our children and I have pictured our relationship, all without knowing your name or your face. I know, I know… that comes off a little creepy but I promise, it's not. I have thought about the standard that I will hold us to and I have thought about the love we will share. And let me say, all of the things I have pictured are probably ridiculously off. They are a culmination of Nicholas Sparks movies, childhood fairytales and classic love songs played on the radio. They are a compilation of tender moments witnessed in coffee shops, of sweet looks in church, of pride and joy in the birth of a child. I have thought about what kind of love we will have and how strong we will be through life's circumstances.

I have to tell you something, my dear Hubby. You married a gem. And I don't mean a shiny, perfectly cut, pristine, sparkly stone. I mean the gritty piece of rock. The unpolished, jagged, tough piece of earth. And I thank you for that. Thank you for taking me at my natural state. Thank you for accepting me with my edges and my quirks, because if you were crazy enough to marry me, you sure as heck know that I'm a different kind of special. However, once you break through the rough exterior and brush off the little flecks of dirt, you'll see the sparkle and the shine. I bet, knowing that I probably picked someone rather awesome, that you will even enhance the shine. And for that I thank you.

I want you to know that I love you. Despite my love for you, I know that I will have moments where I can't stand you. I will have moments that I am offended by you. I will have moments where I'm so angry at you that I could (and possibly will) scream. But know that when I say I'm sorry, I am putting down my shield of pride and taking a step toward you. Know that when I say I love you, I mean it with every ounce of my soul. When I say I love you, it might not come out in those three little words. My love for you will be something I learn from, study and grow. I pray that it will teach me and challenge me. And I pray that your love for me does the same; that it teaches you, and grows you. I pray that we continuously put effort into our love and deny it the opportunity to grow stagnant. I pray that you are ALWAYS my lover, my friend and my warrior.

With our marriage, my sweet husband, I hope that your love for the Lord bonds us with a strength that is unbreakable by this world. I pray that our relationship inspires us to live lives that make those around us, but more so those above us, proud. I pray that we depend on each other. Rely on each other. Build each other. Romance each other. Pray FOR each other.

Hubby, I promise to be the wife that holds you accountable without forcing you into avenues that fit my personal agenda. Sure, I will try and get you to come to that conclusion on your own but I promise not to be forceful. As your wife, we will approach things together. I will make the effort to let you know that you are loved and you are cared for. We will be servants to each other. Not in a Jabba the Hut and Princess Leia kind of way. We will serve each other in a sense that I will listen to your love languages and respond to you in ways that make you feel important. That make you feel loved. Because I love you. And I always will.

So to my husband, who I may or may not have met yet in my life, I want to say that I am praying for you. I'm sending love into the stars so that they can watch down and keep you safe from harm. I'm looking forward to the day where our hello's are uttered and the lightbulb illuminates. I can't wait to tell you I love you and that you're the one I have been waiting for this whole time. 

It will be you.

Always.

My heart is yours,

Your Future Wife