24 thoughts when you turn 24

Last week I turned twenty four. There's nothing exciting about twenty four. No milestones. No ridiculous cards with your number on the front. You're at the point where it's no longer exciting for someone to check your ID. You automatically pull the little plastic card from your wallet because you still look closer to twenty than to forty. It's the beginning of the boring birthday's; the seventeenth birthday of your twenties.

Don't get me wrong, I love birthdays. I'm going to be the woman turning 43 who still has birthday parties. If I make it to the big milestones like 70, 75, 80 years old, you can damn well bet that I'll still be celebrating. Maybe I'll take after my grandma and go skydiving for my 65th birthday. Who knows.

Twenty four, however, is an interesting place to be. You're (usually) past the stupid college years. You are looking at the beginning of your adult life, which for most of us will be the longest stage before the grave. Being someone who loves birthdays so much, I have never really felt a difference between the ages - with the exception of my 21st birthday, which I only remember about eleven months of that year, but that's different. That was until this year. A week after turning twenty four, I have felt a shift, an awareness if you will, that caused me to take stock of where I'm at right now.

1. You're officially in your mid-twenties.
   By this time, you're not a "young adult." You're just a plain ol' adult. You don't get to use the excuses that you could when you were 23, because you've moved into the next age demographic. Say good bye to the days of staying out til 2am on week nights and of financial irresponsibility. You're a real adult now.
2. Everyone and their mom is getting married.
   Seriously. This is the norm now. The race to the ring is ON. This summer I have 6 weddings that I will be attending. And yes, there are more happening that I'm unable to attend. The weddings at this stage aren't even the shot-gun wedding types, these people are actually wanting to spend their lives together. On purpose.
3. Or having kids.
   On purpose. These married friends are having babies. There aren't nearly as many "accidents" at this stage. I heard a friend say the other day that she and her husband were starting to think about 'trying'. My ovaries cringed.
4. You start thinking about whether or not you will want kids.
   When you're surrounded by children, it's inevitable that the thought of having kids will pop through your head. Whether it's a hard pass or baby fever will probably depend on the children you're around, and the parents you're around for that matter. Despite what side of the argument you're on, it's something you begin to genuinely look at.
5. You're old enough to have friends getting divorced.
   That was a trippy moment. Up until this point in my life, the only divorces I saw were parents of friends, and older connections. These people are my age and they are getting divorced. It breaks my heart but it's part of life.
6. You're old enough to realize how much it costs to be an adult.
   Unless you are extremely lucky, you're probably paying for all (or most) of your own life. You pay your rent. You buy your groceries. You have bills. You pay for the visit when you go to the doctor. You don't get free stuff as often as when you were in college. Being an adult is expensive, even if you're a cheap date.
7. You don't like asking for help for fear of being seen as incapable.
   Like I said on #1, you're an actual adult now. Asking for help is hard when you feel like you're supposed to have your shit together. Reality is that you should be able to ask for help at any stage in your life. The ability to ask for help is a wildly undervalued characteristic that shows vulnerability and self-realization. And if you don't ask for help, situations can get immensely harder.
8. Dating has more pressure.
   Because of the insane amount of weddings at this stage in life, people feel pressured to be finding "the one." They feel like they need to be on the same timeline which puts an asinine amount of tension on relationships. I had a friend tell me the other day that she was going to be alone forever because she was single at 25. Bitch, please. Get yourself off of the wedding fever train. Enjoy your partner. And if you don't have a partner, nothing says desperate like assuming every person you meet is a potential husband or wife.
9. You're beginning your career... or still looking to fall into one.
   At twenty four, there's a good chance that you're working one or more jobs, equaling a full-time schedule. If you haven't landed a "big-kid job" that okay, but the reality is that you're probably looking for one. If you have landed one, the reality is that you're probably trying to figure out if this could be something you do for a long time. You're looking long term. Do you want to be a server for the next 40 years? Do you want to be an accountant for the next 40 years? You will spend more time working than any other activity in your life. This is a big thought for 24-year-olds.
10. You start thinking about big purchases.
    A home. A couch. A car. A bedroom set... and no I don't mean lingerie. These big purchases start popping up. Gone are the days where a card-board box houses your extra blankets in the living room. The financial responsibility to provide for yourself (and possibly others) shows up in big ways on your credit card statement.
11. Benefits are a godsend.
    You don't have the crappy student health center of your college years. You get excited to see how much money your benefits covered when you go to visit the doctor. You are more aware of your health and how much your lack of health costs you.
12. A late bedtime is 11:30pm.
    Sure, you'll break this bedtime on occasion. Birthdays, Girls Nights, Man-Dates. But you will FEEL IT the next day. Anything less than 8 hours is definitely less than ideal. A sleep hangover is a real thing and they are rough, especially when you have to work early the next morning. It will leave you wondering, "How did I do this so often in college?!"
13. You start finding your "types."
    Types of friends, types of romantic partners, types of activities you prefer, types of places you like best. At this point in life, you are allowed to be choosy. You've gone to that dance club where you feel totally out of place. You've dated people who didn't work out. You've decided that hiking is your thing and rock climbing isn't. At twenty four, you're allowed to start picking the types that you like, more than the types that you've put up with.
14. You have your first "I feel old" moments.
    The little kids that you babysat are graduating high school. Your favorite song from middle school is on the oldies station. There are kids that don't know who the Spice Girls are and never played with a Tamogachi, let alone know how stressful it was to care for one. I kid you not, listening to the radio a couple days ago, there was a commercial that said, "Justin Timberlake, who started as one of the members N'Sync..." I was like, duh Justin was in N'Sync, but then I realized that there are kids who don't know the goodness of Bye, Bye, Bye...
15. You start to look at quality.
    You might not necessarily make decisions based on quality, but at least you are becoming aware of the fact that the dress you bought from Forever 21 will probably fall apart after three washes. This goes for other things too; friendships, clothing, furniture and so many other things. 
16. The hip new celebrities are younger than you.
    Sam Smith is two years younger than me. I'm ten years older than most Disney stars. Weird. 
17. Can I still pretend I'm a stupid college kid?
    College was hard, but it was a whole different battlefield than adulthood. We got to pretend to be adults, without actually having the true responsibility. Get a bad test grade? That's okay, you can just pass/fail the class. Get to drunk at a party? Skip class the next day! Our pseudo-responsibility was a key step to getting here, but the adult world is far less forgiving. Amazing, and worth it, but you have to work ten times harder. 
18. No matter what tough stuff is going on, there will always be someone from high school that makes you feel better about your life.
    I'm not making money by dressing up as a Disney princess. That is all. 
19. College Loans are worse than the devil.
    Sure, we all know college is expensive but you forget about that until your 6-month grace period is over and you see all those zeros behind the comma and, if you're anything like me, you have an instant panic attack. Paying them back is hard. And we may never finish, but at least we got a great education right? ...
20. You want friendship that are more than just drinking buddies.
    Happy hours are great and going out on a Saturday night is fun, but you know what is even better?! Brunch dates, where you talk about how crazy your coworker is, or how your girlfriend did the most ridiculous thing on her first date last week. People that you can do life with become extremely important. And you can still take shots on occasion. 
21. A night in is just as exciting as a night out.
    Netflix is my boyfriend. We're pretty serious. Plus, on a night in, pants are optional. 
22. I don't know how (insert name here) can still party like that...
    We all have those friends that can still drink a whole fifth in a night. I don't know how they haven't lost their jobs, but after college, we like to call that alcoholism. 
23. "Me-Time" is an actual thing.
    I love my friends. I love my roommate. I love my coworkers. And guess who else I love? Myself. Whether it's lifting at the gym for an hour or sleeping in a bit later, I have been awakened to the idea of self-care. And I love it. 
24. You realize how off you are compared to where you thought you'd be at 24...
    I realized the other day that around this time, five years ago, I had a guy ask me where I wanted to be in five years (while I was on a date). My 19 year old self said that I wanted to be done with school and hopefully in a serious relationship, on my way to getting married around 24-25 years old. I wanted to be successfully involved in a wedding planning career moving towards being a top coordinator. I wanted to be living in downtown Portland, or another big city, and if have a dog. 
    Literally, none of those things are happening in my life at 24. And that's not a bad thing. I am starting in a successful career path with a company that inspires me. I'm single. I don't have a dog. I live in Portland, but not downtown because I'm not stupidly rich. And I'm happier than I have been in a long time. 

Twenty four has been a whirlwind already and it's only been a week. It's exciting and terrifying to be a full-fledged adult, but it's also inspiring, and challenging to be the best darn adult I can be. 

I'm gonna go adult now. 

Did I miss any?! Comment below for any thoughts that come up in your mid-twenties!

Homesick for College

The place that I was raised is 273 miles away. I am used to homesickness.

My family lives 2,494 miles away. I am VERY used to homesickness.

First of all, let's talk about the term "homesick."  When I say homesick, I'm not talking about four walls and a roof. I'm talking about the laughter after your sister says something stupid. I'm talking about the wrestling match with your brother. I'm talking about watching Gilmore Girls with your dad (yes, I said dad... sorry for blabbing your secret, Pops). I'm talking about going on walks with your mom and discussing life. I'm talking about the RELATIONSHIP of HOME.

When my family moved accross the country, I went from an illusion of independece to a reality of literally being on my own. I went from home being just a few hours away in case I needed anything, even just a hug, to needing 18 hours and four planes to wrap my arms around my mom and dad. It was shocking and hard to get used to at first (let's be real; it's still not easy). The homesickness I felt back then was strong and the three hour time difference made it even harder to talk to the ones that I love.

Thankfully, as the time passed, Oregon State slowly started becoming the home I created for myself. It wasn't the same as being with my family (which is what I associate 'home' with, since they are no longer living in my childhood home), but I started to find a group of people that became my "adopted family". I had friends who brought me into their childhood homes. Their siblings became like my siblings. They hugged me when I needed hugs.

It wasn't the same as being home but it became MY home.

Four years later. I'm homesick again. But this time, instead of being homesick for my biological family I'm homesick for my college family. I miss having a hangout spot on the couch in my favorite coffee shop. I miss the friends that lived within walking distance. I miss going to Sharri's for horrible breakfast food at 3am. I miss the REALTIONSHIP of COLLEGE.

There was an article that went viral last year, right around the time I graduated college, called The Opposite of Loneliness . This article knocked me on my butt the first time I read it, and continues to do so a year later. It came from the Yale Daily News (the real one, not the Rory Gilmore version) and was written by a young woman, Marina Keegan, who was destined to do big things, yet her biggest fear was losing the "people, an abundance of people, who are in this together."

Yale is full of tiny circles we pull around ourselves. A cappella groups, sports teams, houses, societies, clubs. These tiny groups that make us feel loved and safe and part of something even on our loneliest nights when we stumble home to our computers — partner-less, tired, awake. We won’t have those next year. We won’t live on the same block as all our friends. We won’t have a bunch of group-texts.

This scares me. More than finding the right job or city or spouse – I’m scared of losing this web we’re in. This elusive, indefinable, opposite of loneliness. This feeling I feel right now. - Marina Keegan, Yale Daily News (2012)

Unfortunately though, her story ran just days after she was killed in a tragic car accident. But Marina had the right idea. She knew that she was blessed with the people who related, who experienced, and who lived the opposite of loneliness. They lived life together. Even if they weren't going through the same things, they were doing it together.

In college, I was blessed to make the closest friends I've ever had. We went through deaths, through breakups, through financial instability, through hangovers, through aced tests and failed exams, through engagements, through everything. It isn't until you don't see your friends regularly that you realze how much you love them.

I had this epiphany on Tuesday Night when I reconnected with some of my MUPC alumni buddies. We talked about life and jobs and memories of our crazy events and I realized how much I had missed them. I also realized that I am so lucky that I DO miss them. It means that our lives shared a special experience and it would always bond us.

So, yes, I am extremely homesick for the 20-ish friends who would come over for dinner parties once a month. I'm homesick for the study groups. I'm homesick for the friends who would pull me onto the dance floor when a boy was hurting my feelings. I'm homesick for the wine nights... all the wine nights. I'm homesick for sitting on the MUPC couches playing the Sausage Movie game and giggling like the immature goobers that we were (and still are).

But I am SO DARN GRATEFUL for those silly moments, those hugs and those tears, those life moments. The reminiscing and the memories are about more than my degree I earned and the massive amount of debt I accrued. They are about the love I earned and gave so willingly.

IT'S WORTH THE HOMESICKNESS.