5 Things 'Adult-Me' has Learned from my Dad.

It's Father's day weekend, so let the Facebook posts, anecdotes, photos of lake trips and BBQ's commence. I love this holiday so much, not because I'm a father, but because my dad is rad and I love sharing stories about how awesome he is. Yes, it's a great bragging rights day. Everyone posts adorable old photos of baby-so-and-so with his or her dad adorably doing something dad-like (holding them on his shoulders, making silly faces, wrestling three toddlers and a dog). I love it because even though I haven't met 99% of the dads being showcased on Facebook or Instagram, I know that dad's offspring and it's an insight into who that person is.

On the other hand, I also get to see a showcasing of the bad-ass moms who pull double duty as the mom-dad combo. So many women in my life have been strong and resilient and still raised some incredible people, without a father present.

While this day is meant to celebrate how awesome these dads are, I took a minute to reflect on the things that my dad has taught me, not growing up, but as an adult. I am 2,481.2 miles away from my dad, but even with the distance, he has continued teaching me into my adulthood.

1. Dad jokes stop being lame and start being awesome.
After a particularly annoying day at work, I called my dad to catch up, which usually happens about once every two weeks or so. Sure, we talk more than that when he pops in while I'm on the phone with my mom, but we get a dadd-daughter phone call about every two or three weeks. I called Dad and we talked for a little while; next thing I know, Dad says, "I've got a joke for you.." As I roll my eyes on the Oregon end of the phone, I tell him to go for it... It went something like this...

Dad: "Knock, knock."
Me: "Who's there?"
Dad: "Europe."
Me: "Europe, who?"
Dad: "No, I'm not, Europ-poo!"

I could not help myself, I was instantly cracking up laughing. Dad jokes are truly gems. They're the mix of innocence and corny-ness that are able to make you feel like the little kid that you'll always be to your pop.

2. I appreciate how much it takes to provide for a family.
I'm trying to provide for myself right now, and let me tell you, it's not easy. As I was paying my bills the other day, I took a moment to send out a little thank you to the universe for having a dad that, as the primary breadwinner for our family, provided a generously comfortable life for my brother and sister and I, even when times were hard. Multiple times, when we were struggling financially, my siblings and I had no idea, because my parents made sure all of our activities were accounted for before some of their needs. Thank you Dad, and Mom, for giving us a wonderful upbringing.

3. Being weird is WAY better than being normal.
My dad made sure to instill in us that being different was okay, and even encouraged. He would say, "Normal is boring, being weird is a compliment, it means that you're different and that's a good thing!" He was right. He instilled a desire to be smart, to be unique, to be caring and to be courteous, but to be true to ourselves and make our own choices. As a self-proclaimed 'computer nerd', Dad LIVED to be weird and to embarrass us and I pray I can embarrass my future kids as well as he did, and does.

4. Dad's catchphrases work their way into conversations more than I care to admit.
Driving around the Costco parking lot a couple weeks back, I was on the phone with my dad and in typical Costco fashion, there wasn't an open parking spot to be seen for miles. While talking to my dad, I say, "Don't these people have homes?!" (One of Dad's classic lines.) I realized what I said, and so did he. We both started cracking up laughing. Another time recently, I was introduced to my coworker's 2 year old son. When I reached out to shake his hand, I pretended like he had a buzzer in his hand and started wiggling around like I was being buzzed. The little boy started cracking up laughing. This is a solid trick that I learned from my dad, and he learned it from his father. I find myself doing these Dad-isms which I thought were so dumb as a teenager and I am starting to realize how wonderful they truly are.

5. It's okay to still be a kid to your parents.
Sure, I'm an adult, but I'll always be my dad's little girl. He still gives me great bear hugs, and dances the classic Daddy dance with me in the kitchen when I visit home. Dad is always there to listen to what's going on in life and tell me to "Shake it off cowgirl" when life is hard. I love my daddy and I know that he and my mom are always teamed up as my number one cheering squad. I'll always be Dad's 'Number One', in birth order and also because I'm his favorite ;)

Happy Father's day to the best Daddy in the world. I love you so much and can't wait to hug you again soon.

Homesick for College

The place that I was raised is 273 miles away. I am used to homesickness.

My family lives 2,494 miles away. I am VERY used to homesickness.

First of all, let's talk about the term "homesick."  When I say homesick, I'm not talking about four walls and a roof. I'm talking about the laughter after your sister says something stupid. I'm talking about the wrestling match with your brother. I'm talking about watching Gilmore Girls with your dad (yes, I said dad... sorry for blabbing your secret, Pops). I'm talking about going on walks with your mom and discussing life. I'm talking about the RELATIONSHIP of HOME.

When my family moved accross the country, I went from an illusion of independece to a reality of literally being on my own. I went from home being just a few hours away in case I needed anything, even just a hug, to needing 18 hours and four planes to wrap my arms around my mom and dad. It was shocking and hard to get used to at first (let's be real; it's still not easy). The homesickness I felt back then was strong and the three hour time difference made it even harder to talk to the ones that I love.

Thankfully, as the time passed, Oregon State slowly started becoming the home I created for myself. It wasn't the same as being with my family (which is what I associate 'home' with, since they are no longer living in my childhood home), but I started to find a group of people that became my "adopted family". I had friends who brought me into their childhood homes. Their siblings became like my siblings. They hugged me when I needed hugs.

It wasn't the same as being home but it became MY home.

Four years later. I'm homesick again. But this time, instead of being homesick for my biological family I'm homesick for my college family. I miss having a hangout spot on the couch in my favorite coffee shop. I miss the friends that lived within walking distance. I miss going to Sharri's for horrible breakfast food at 3am. I miss the REALTIONSHIP of COLLEGE.

There was an article that went viral last year, right around the time I graduated college, called The Opposite of Loneliness . This article knocked me on my butt the first time I read it, and continues to do so a year later. It came from the Yale Daily News (the real one, not the Rory Gilmore version) and was written by a young woman, Marina Keegan, who was destined to do big things, yet her biggest fear was losing the "people, an abundance of people, who are in this together."

Yale is full of tiny circles we pull around ourselves. A cappella groups, sports teams, houses, societies, clubs. These tiny groups that make us feel loved and safe and part of something even on our loneliest nights when we stumble home to our computers — partner-less, tired, awake. We won’t have those next year. We won’t live on the same block as all our friends. We won’t have a bunch of group-texts.

This scares me. More than finding the right job or city or spouse – I’m scared of losing this web we’re in. This elusive, indefinable, opposite of loneliness. This feeling I feel right now. - Marina Keegan, Yale Daily News (2012)

Unfortunately though, her story ran just days after she was killed in a tragic car accident. But Marina had the right idea. She knew that she was blessed with the people who related, who experienced, and who lived the opposite of loneliness. They lived life together. Even if they weren't going through the same things, they were doing it together.

In college, I was blessed to make the closest friends I've ever had. We went through deaths, through breakups, through financial instability, through hangovers, through aced tests and failed exams, through engagements, through everything. It isn't until you don't see your friends regularly that you realze how much you love them.

I had this epiphany on Tuesday Night when I reconnected with some of my MUPC alumni buddies. We talked about life and jobs and memories of our crazy events and I realized how much I had missed them. I also realized that I am so lucky that I DO miss them. It means that our lives shared a special experience and it would always bond us.

So, yes, I am extremely homesick for the 20-ish friends who would come over for dinner parties once a month. I'm homesick for the study groups. I'm homesick for the friends who would pull me onto the dance floor when a boy was hurting my feelings. I'm homesick for the wine nights... all the wine nights. I'm homesick for sitting on the MUPC couches playing the Sausage Movie game and giggling like the immature goobers that we were (and still are).

But I am SO DARN GRATEFUL for those silly moments, those hugs and those tears, those life moments. The reminiscing and the memories are about more than my degree I earned and the massive amount of debt I accrued. They are about the love I earned and gave so willingly.

IT'S WORTH THE HOMESICKNESS.