Why I left my salaried desk job to wait tables in a tourist town.

I turned 25 this year. I was doing all the right things. I had a great job, amazing friends, a great church, a paid off car, money in my savings account, a 401(k). I was on track for the typical American dream. Life was perfect!

But there was an appetite that wasn't quite satiated and I didn't know what it was. Until a little voice popped into my head.

Let's rewind a bit.

In college, I became best friends with two girls. After graduation we went our separate ways but remained super close. One of my girlfriends had moved to Central Oregon, just a couple hours away. I LOVED visiting the area but even when my ex-boyfriend mentioned moving there, I always said that I could never live in the desert. It was a beautiful place to visit, but not necessarily my scene. Not enough greenery, and it was a small town. Didn't he know I was a city girl now?! Duh, obviously!

Well, funny thing about when you say never…

In January, the three of us girls united in Bend, OR for a weekend of sledding and girl time. It had been ages. We were having a blast giggling, catching up and adventuring together. As we were driving through the mountains on our way to go sledding, a little voice in the back of my head said, "You are going to move to Bend."

"Nope," I thought in response to this voice that was very clearly not my own, "I am definitely not moving here. There's lots of snow and it's a desert! A high desert but still...I can't live in the desert!"

As quickly as the conversation began, my internal dialogue with this voice was over. But how did I think of this?! Like I mentioned, this was clearly not my idea. For those that know me, my faith is a HUGE part of my life, and for those that don't know me... well… now you know. As corny and cliche as it might sound, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord was speaking to me; calling me to Bend. And I wasn't down to go.

The next day, as we ventured back to Portland, I thought about that commanding little voice in the back of my head. There was so much power to that one little statement. And SO many questions that accompanied it. We arrived back in Portland just in time for me to make it to the evening service at my home church. As I was standing there worshipping, I couldn't get the thought of how wonderful of a time I'd had in Bend that weekend. One of the associate pastors said the announcements and then our lead pastor took the stage for his message. This message was a little unique. Being the first sermon of the new year, he was speaking of the upcoming plans our church had for 2016, some of which included two new church plants that we were a part of in Vancouver, WA and …. wait for it … in Bend, OR. My heart was beating out of my chest and my eyes got all teary like they oftentimes do. If we're being honest, I don't even really remember what he was talking about in regards to the plant, but I remember distinctly saying in my head, "Okay Lord… I'm listening. I heard you yesterday and I hear you today."

 'What's a church plant?' you may be asking. Well, to put it simply, it is a group of people starting a new church. I went home and kept turning over these two experiences again and again. I had no idea what to do with these pieces, but I wanted to know more.

The next evening, I was on the phone with my mom while driving home from work, discussing the amazingly fun weekend I'd had in Bend and all of the cool people I had met. Without telling Mom about the super cool Jesus-moments I'd had, she says to me, "I don't know why, but I kept thinking over and over again about how well you would do in Bend." That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I started crying.

"Mom, I think the Lord is calling me to Bend."

***

Six months later, there was a Uhaul parked in my apartment complex's parking lot. I had quit my job, found a minimum wage serving job at a chain restaurant that I had worked for in Portland, been offered a room in my best friend's apartment with her and her boyfriend, and was packing to leave a city that had taught me more than I could have ever anticipated. My Portland family helped me load up and I was on the road.

The tears started flowing about 10 miles away from my apartment… probably not the safest thing to happen when you're driving a 15' Uhaul truck, but let's be real...they couldn't be stopped. I was doing one of the craziest things I'd ever done. I was taking a 50% pay cut. Literally. I was leaving a church family that had helped me grow in my faith ten-fold. I was saying goodbye to one of the best roommates I've ever had. I was leaving a job with some of the most inspirational and loving people I had ever met. And I was terrified.

If we're honest, I'm still a little terrified. It's been two weeks since I've moved to Bend. I had forgotten how HARD serving is. I am getting used to a new schedule. I am trying to maintain long-distance friendships while managing to grow and develop new friendships down here. It's hard. My equilibrium is off. No one likes change, and this experience has literally changed every single piece of my life. But the beauty of this crazy, terrifying, exciting, nerve-wracking, wonderful adventure is that I am following a God that loves me so much. He loves me so much that He has created a family in Bend that has made this transition SO much easier on me. He has called me to help with a church of genuine, loving, Godly people that inspire me with their faith on a daily basis without being judgmental bible-thumpers. He has used my act of faith to encourage and inspire other people to follow their adventures.

While I am terrified of this change, I'm also incredibly humbled by the support of those around me. If you have had any part in this crazy adventure I'm on, I want you to take a minute and wrap your arms around your shoulders and give yourself a big-fat-squeezey-Bueller hug. Thank you for giving me strength, for giving me words of affirmation, for giving me hugs and kleenex when I had my hot-mess moments (you know who you are…), for praying for me and this plant team and for holding my hand through a crazy new phase of my life.

God is so good you guys. He's got big plans for this church plant and I can't wait to share how He's going to use us in this city.

So today, I'll leave you with this...

"This is my command. Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord our God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9


XOXO Sarah

When you ask "What's next?"

"What's Next?"

You whisper under you breath.
Knowing that you would be the only one to hear those two little words.
When you get to a point of exasperated questioning.
You just don't know.
How do I fit?
Where is my path?
You inhale, with the weight of the future on your chest.
You exhale all the stress that led up to it.
It sinks in that you don't know.
You just don't know.
And in that moment, the fear of the unknown cripples you.
Your always-planned-out life is so far from where you thought it would be.
Not in a bad way, just not where you expected.
But you mutter those little words into the sky.

"What's Next?"

The chaos is palpable.
Thoughts bounce from one realm to the next.
You asked it into the unknown.
The words leave your lips and fear starts to bubble.
The anxiety hits.
'I don't know what's next,' you think to yourself.
But then you feel it.
You feel the calm of knowing that you are taken care of.
The peace of not knowing, and being okay with that.
With closed eyes.
Hands open to receive whatever is meant to come your way.
Whatever your higher power, the universe, or the winds of change move into your life.
You are ready to accept it.
Because you asked that little powerful question.

"What's Next?"

The fear is still there. The questions haven't disappeared.
But you know.
Next is unknown.
Next is malleable.
You know that in the moments of uncertainty, Next will show it's face.
It will open it's arms and embrace your discomfort.
It will give you safe refuge.
It might not be easy, but it will be worth it.
You realize that giving yourself up so wholly to the universe creates a vulnerability that you have never known.
A vulnerability that is equally terrifying and empowering.

"What's Next?"

Despite the fear, there is comfort.
Comfort in knowing that your open stance will bring to fruition an adventure like none you have ever experienced.
You breathe again.
Deeper.
Stronger.
More powerful.
The crippling fear turns into an elixir of excitement.
You savor the sweet buzz of what could be.
All because you had the courage to ask yourself.

"What's Next?"

That fickle b*tch named Timing.

I will warn you now, I'm going to use the word bitch in this blog post... more than once. If that offends you, please go and enjoy your episode of Care Bears.



Have you ever heard someone say, "I wish I had time for that," or, "It's just not the right time?"

As humans, we are under the impression that time controls everything. It's not a totally bogus notion. Time has a control on many things; when you get your drivers license, when you can legally start drinking, when I start freaking out about being late... Oh wait... I control that one.

I am NOTORIOUS for blaming things on timing. It's why I didn't sell my devil-possessed Volkswagen Jetta after the bazillionth time it broke down. It's why I continued to stay at a job I hated. It's why I didn't sneak a smooch from that guy before we said goodnight. It's why I get scared about the future. It's like I think that a little timing fairy is just going to pop up and say, "You've had the appropriate experiences now, I'm going to grant you the best timing ever right... NOW! Aw shit, you missed it.... Well, there it went. You'll never get that back now." That timing fairy is a real bitch like that, ya know?!

From a self-proclaimed control freak, timing can be one of my best friends or my worst enemies. I rely greatly on scheduling and planning, but timing has a way of jumbling that plan like a Western Scramble at the local breakfast cafe.

In the grand scheme of things, us humans are led to believe that timing controls much more than our schedules. We think that 'timing is everything' and that the grand timing gods put things and pieces into our lives just when the moment is right. Don't get me wrong, I fully believe (due to my Christian faith) that God has the perfect timing on certain things that may not have worked out as well at another place in my life, but I also think that our collective idea of timing is a little bit of a cop out.

That Fickle Bitch Named Timing can be summed up by my newest little creative equation:

(Availability of Resources) + (Opportunity x The Ability to Pull One's Head Out of His/Her Ass) = TIMING

Let's break this bad boy down to the components...

Availability of Resources-
I will admit that this is the most legitimate excuse for why the timing isn't right. If you physically do not have the money to buy the new car you want, and you can't get a loan, it's very probable that the timing is wrong. Availability of Resources isn't necessarily money, but it could also be an emotional state. Did you just go through a painful divorce? If so, it might not be the right time for you to throw a giant engagement party for your coworker. It's not that you don't want to, it just could be emotional tolling beyond a healthy level. You have to have the appropriate tool belt to work with at that moment.

Opportunity-
Opportunity is a tricky one because sometimes it's created and sometimes it's stumbled upon. By reaching out to a couple different companies in the interest of learning more about the career of Wedding Coordinating, I stumbled upon a killer internship with a great event management company in Portland. That cute guy is in town this week? That looks like opportunity if I've ever seen it; go grab coffee! Create an opportunity to get to know someone, to get to know a situation, to gather the necessary pieces and to get to know what opportunity looks like! I believe that opportunity is a combo of searching for openings as well as looking where you can insert yourself.

The Ability to Pull One's Head Out of His/Her Ass-
THIS IS THE BIGGEST MAKE-OR-BREAK COMPONENT OF TIMING. We are so wrapped up in our own heads that we often times forget to look outside of our blinders. LOOK UP! Yes, you just started talking to the girl who works in the office next to yours. You could continue to sit on the park bench outside at lunch time or you could eat lunch with her! She might become one of your best friends. The point is to be looking around, seeing what the world has in store for you. If you stay too wrapped up in your own thoughts, you will consistently be convincing yourself that the timing will never be right.


When the Opportunity is right but you have ZERO awareness of your surroundings, the timing will be off. When you can't find any opportunity despite the fact that you're looking, you're at zero again (because you're not looking hard enough).



Timing is everything but it is also extremely overrated. SEIZE THE TIMING.  Collect the resources you need, gain experience where you can and look for opportunity. You can trick that fickle bitch named timing into doing things your way. Don't let timing be an issue. Live in the moment. As the great Ferris Bueller once said, "Time moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."








Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.