Love and Brain Surgery

Falling in love is scary, but you know what's even more scary? Brain surgery. 

You're probably thinking, "Wow, that sure escalated quickly!" And you're right. It did. But that's how I felt today when I left my boyfriend's house, just days before his dad's sixth brain surgery. 

When you realize that you are falling for someone, an entire multitude of emotions come rushing into your thoughts. First, there's the exciting realization of how you feel. You become aware of that bubbling feeling in your chest. No wonder they call it butterflies. this excitement is followed by the analysis stage. Does he feel the same way? Is he wondering if I love him? Do I tell him? Do I wait for him to tell me? Then there's the fear, and if you're anything like me, this is the one that takes over more often than the dancing in your heart.  What if he doesn't? What if I make a fool out of myself? What if it scares him off? 

We live in a world where we are overly concerned with a fear of getting hurt, which in my opinion is ultimately the fear of being unloveable. With hookup culture and instant gratification, we are scared of long-term commitments and developing feelings because those increase our chances of getting hurt. It's the fear that we will be left alone at the end of the day with a broken heart. 

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When my boyfriend and I first started texting back and forth, it came up in conversation that his dad was sick. He had a rare form of brain cancer that he had been fighting for over 8 years. I had never been around anyone with cancer. Not closely at least. 

Watching his family handle the ups and downs, from a newcomers perspective, has been nothing short of inspiring. The amount of love and support that I've seen from the perimeter has taken my breath away on multiple occasions. 

But that doesn't mean that it isn't scary...

Now that I've seen small snippets into the life of a family dealing with cancer, I have learned that falling in love is still a little scary, but it's also an invaluable piece in the grand scheme of things. The fear of rejection is vastly outweighed by hearing the comforting three little words that used to scare us into a mental spiral of what-if's. The knowledge that your person is there to support you, and visa versa, is like a warm hug for your soul. 

Love is scary, but going through the hard parts of life (like brain surgery) is so much scarier if you're too afraid to fall.