Why I went skinny dipping in the Pacific Ocean, and other life changes.

Skinny dipping in the Pacific Ocean was not on my bucket list. In fact, it hadn't ever come close to it. I had gone "skinny dipping" in college, but a sports bra and bikini bottoms does not a skinny dipper make. I'm a fairly modest person who gets uncomfortable when someone stares at me too long. "Is there something on my face? Is my fly undone?"

Why would I put myself out there like that? It's dangerous. It's cold. It's crazy.
Well, let me explain.


I am a 23 year old woman. In my life, I've done some pretty awesome stuff but I haven't done anything extraordinary. I wasn't Valedectorian. I didn't have perfect grades. I wasn't an incredible athlete. I didn't date much. I have lots of great friends but I wasn't "the popular kid." I didn't get a crazy awesome job right out of college. Sure, I've done well for myself, but there hasn't been anything that would necessarily make me stand out from a crowd AND THAT'S FINE WITH ME.

As a millenial in post-college life, you start to think about how you are living. You're not in college anymore. You can't just stay out until 3:00am four nights a week and expect to maintain a decent job from 8:00am-5:00pm. Drinking large quantities makes you do stupid things that you can't chock up to "college stupidity." Bills don't get paid with student loan disbursements, they get paid by long hours and real jobs. You have to start saving your money. You have the pressure of the rest of your life once you get that degree. For the first time in our lives, we are actually told to grow up.

I've been trying to grow up since I was 15 years old. I wanted to be the mature one who had her "stuff" together. I developed the moniker of "Momma Sarah" and loved it because I was the DD when we went out dancing; I'd cook dinner for my 20 closest friends; I took care of my friends after a pretty terrifying car accident, making sure they woke up every hour in order to make sure they didn't have concussions. I loved, and still love, being the caretaker of the group.

However, there is one thing that I have realized  at this point in my early-twenties journey. Since I can remember, I have been trying to act older than I am. I wanted to dress older (not even on the scandalous scale, just older styles), I would look into my future, I'd plan my life down to a specific timeline, and you know what I found? I was not living in the moment. I was planning for the person I was going to be instead of developing the woman that I am. This fact has bothered me a bit. I LOVE being a planner, but given some recent developments in life, I have realized you can't plan for everything. Yes... I know... I should have realized this fact much sooner, but hey, I'm stubborn, okay?

So on the chilly September night at the Heceta Head Lighthouse, on the Oregon Coast, I decided to live in the moment. I let my 23 year old self give in to the impulsive and slightly stupid idea of wading into the freezing cold salt water BECAUSE I COULD. I was living in the moment! With one childhood friend, and two strangers, we ran hand-in-hand into that icy ocean. I felt an electricity that only comes around when you are comfortable in your skin. All of my insecurities about my body were gone. Let's go even bigger... for a moment, my insecurities about LIFE were gone. I didn't think about my career path, my bank account, my relationship status, my family, my future. I thought about how freaking cold it was, yet how thrilling this adventure felt. I was in the moment.

Looking back on that memory, I realized that I shed more than clothing that night; I also shed an idea that spontaneity is bad. I gained the knowlege that a little bit of crazy is a good thing. It keeps you on your toes, it keeps you alive.

So yes, I went skinny-dipping in the Pacific ocean. Yes, I froze my rear-end off.

And yes, I changed my outlook on life.