10 Reasons why you're torn between Dating and Staying Single.

It's Friday night. You're sitting on the couch with your fuzzy blanket binge watching Netflix, adorned in sweatpants and bits of popcorn that have spilled out of your giant bowl. #NOSHAME. We all do it. But part of you thinks, maybe, just maybe, it would be nice to do this with someone else. Granted, for most people it would take a little while before hitting the comfort-of-tattered-sweatpants stage, but you think, maybe I should put myself back out there. You say to yourself, 'I could actually do my hair, throw on some real people clothes and try to catch me a suitor'! And then you look back into your bowl of popcorn and think... Nahhh, I'm good.

I can't be alone in that thought process. Dating is hard. But sometimes, so is being single. So why do we find ourselves torn between wanting to date and wanting to be single?

1) All your friends are in serious relationships.
You know when you were in middle school and you were learning about peer pressure? Your teacher would say, "Just because you think that all your friends are having sex doesn't mean you need to!" Well, the sex isn't the real peer pressure. They should have warned you about being the only 25 year old single friend at the six weddings you'll attend this summer. Now THAT is peer pressure.

2) I am still working on myself.
Cliche? Yep. True? Double yep! I am finding out what I want my life to look like, and that's a lot easier when it's just me.

3) I want attention...
Don't lie. If you're single, male or female, you love having someone notice you; having someone tell you that you're pretty or handsome; laughing at all the awkward newness of getting to know someone. It's fun! It gives you butterflies. Don't lie, you love it.

4) ... But I'm done with games.
Just because I want attention, doesn't mean I want to get hooked in and then played with those stupid games of who 'doesn't care' the most. Attention is fun, but only when it's genuine, and not given out to everyone like Halloween candy. Flirting is fun, watching you flirt with every single person you see is not fun. When I get back into dating, it will be a games-free zone.

5) I like making decisions based on MY needs. Not OUR needs. (But I will factor someone in when I need to.)
Right now, I'm allowed to be a little selfish. If I want to pick up and move to another city, I can. Because I'm only making decisions for one person instead of for a pair or family.

6) I'm not desperate.
Or I guess I should say, I'm not usually desperate...

7) I am dedicated to building my career.... Even though I am not quite sure what that is yet... 
As of right now, I have the freedom to be flexible in the job field by growing my resume. I can work a LOT. I can change jobs. I can join the circus... okay well I probably won't do that but I COULD. Basically, I'm evaluating my future.

8) I have moments where I ADORE being single...
Last minute change in plans? I don't have to check with anyone. I can binge Fuller House on Netflix for hours without judgement. I can get all dressed up to go out for Happy Hour with my girlfriends. I can flirt with a cute guy at the bar. I can hang out with my guy friends without worrying about someone getting jealous. I can do me and sometimes that's really great!

9) ...But I also look forward to sharing the dumb relationship stuff too.
Like trying out new restaurants on date night. Or holding hands for the first time. Or finding a new show that we are mutually obsessed with. Or meeting your parents for the first time. All the new and fun couple-y activities are awesome and I can't wait to do all the corny stuff when dating becomes a part of my life again.

10) I know what I want in a relationship.
I KNOW I'm not looking for a fling. I know that I want someone who's ambitious and driven. I want someone to take care of me and I want to take care of that special someone. I want my partner to be my best friend and my partner in crime. I want to be goofy and wrestle or dance around the living room. I don't want to waste my time with someone who does not share my core values. I have dated enough to have honed in some big factors of someone to spend time with intimately. It's time to be a bit more serious.

11) My time is valuable.

I'm not about to waste either of our time on something lukewarm. It's not fair to either of us to date, just so we aren't lonely. I want to be excited to go out with you. I want to have butterflies when I think you might kiss me. I don't want to get my hopes up for something that you view as 'casual'. I'm in it for the real deal, not just a free meal.

But when it comes down to it...
I don't want to be alone forever. So one of these days I'll have to date again. For now though, I'll pop that popcorn, flip on Fuller House and enjoy the time with my favorite partner. ME.